Supermom Chronicles

I Yoda

2008-11-23T14:02:00.010-06:00

We decided to go with a Star Wars Halloween theme this year. All the kids seem to be into Star Wars and were thrilled to dress up as these characters. If costumes weren't so darn expensive, I would have loved for John & I to be Darth & Queen Amadala, Faith to still be Princess Leia, Cole could have been Luke, and there's no denying who's the best Yoda in town.

Here we are at the beginning of the night participating in our friend's annual Halloween party and hay ride. I can't believe James actually let me apply green makeup all over his face without wiping it off. The only "defect" is his snot trail!

We purchased a really great Darth Vader costume for Cole, complete w/ gloves, mask and I even bought a light saber. This is the only 10 seconds of the whole night that he wore the mask or held the light saber. Oh well, they do play w/ the sabers a lot at home, so it's worth it.

Princess Leia and her father. It took 4 pictures before I finally convinced Darth to move the light saber away from his face so I could take a decent picture. Little stinker.

James was a real trooper. He refused to be carried all night AND he insisted on carrying all his loot himself. I was impressed how well he kept up. Whenever we passed someone on the sidewalk he would tap his chest and say, "I Yoda!" He was a big hit with all the neighborhood. What cracked me up was when he went to the doorsteps to collect candy. After receiving his treat, he would wave and say, "Tank you. Bye bye. I love you."

It was hard to get a picture of all 3 together. This was the best I could do.

Oohh, candy. Then he would say, "More? More?"

THE SPOILS!! Cole & Faith wanted to change pretty immediately. James did not want to take his costume off until it was time for bed.

Yes, that is THREE lollipops he is working on at once. That is definitely his favorite candy.

If you can guess my next-door-neighbor's costume, I'll give you bonus points. My slow Aggie brain didn't get it at first.

The day after... caught him giggling in front of the mirror w/ Leia's hair on.

Hello out there....

2008-11-22T12:44:00.005-06:00

Uh, I've been busy. For 7 months. Yep, that's my excuse & I'm sticking to it.

We are doing fine. I truly do have much to say. So much happens in 7 months; where do I begin? I think I'll just post a few random cute pictures with simple comments. You know, easing back into blogging. Actually, I blame my friend, Zoe, partially. She is pregnant for the 1st time and lives in New Mexico. I am dying to see her pregnant. She sent me an email a few weeks ago saying that she was on Facebook, so I thought, "Great! I'll finally get to see pregnancy pictures of her!" But to view her Facebook profile, I had to sign onto Facebook myself. Well, the rest is history. Suffice it to say, I have found an amazing number of my old vet school buddies and got a bit distracted. I admit, I actually posted Halloween pictures on Facebook instead of this blog. I will try to blog again, and as Leah puts it, go to Facebook as a reward for blogging.

The furniture has upgraded in the boys' room over the summer. Just 1 month ago, James transitioned from his crib to a toddler bed. And for Cole's 4th birthday, John built him this loft bed. We had an extra crib mattress, so I decided to tuck it under the loft bed. Every night we put James down in his toddler bed on the other side of the room, but when we go to check on him later, he has moved to this spot. Apparently he really likes it under there.

This morning it got kinda quiet, so I walked around trying to find the boys (Faith was still sleeping). I walked past the staircase of couple of times before I looked up and saw these 3 just sitting there together, quietly.

Everyone's got a little Captain Morgan in them.

A little cool illusion -- this is a picture of James at the Southpark Meadows playscape looking through one of the tinted half-moons. That is a happy boy.

Cole in a good mood. Freeze this into your memories everyone. It doesn't happen often.

More to come...I'll try to post Halloween pictures VERY soon.

Motherhood: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

2008-04-20T17:52:00.005-05:00

First, the GOOD:

Faith brought home some computer work she did at school last week. She drew a picture of a pizza using the software, then typed below it:

"the pytsa is good i like the pytsa cole dus to. it is good we ned maour pytsa"

Translation: The pizza is good. I like the pizza. Cole does, too. It is good. We need more pizza.

Another page with a picture of a stick figure playing under the sun had the following caption:

"i wint to the parec and i playd. i had fun i was playing with cole at the parec. mom we had fun at the parec"

Translation: I went to the park and I played. I had fun. I was playing with Cole at the park. Mom, we had fun at the park.

I love her creative spelling and limited use of punctuation. Adorable.

Now, the BAD:

As many of you know, Cole was spinning in the air trying to entertain James & I last Tuesday night, when his forehead came slamming down on our rock hearth. I could see his skull under the cut, so we rushed him to the ER in San Marcos to have his head checked out. Our 4 hour experience there left MUCH to be desired (i.e. being triaged in a timely manner, actually seeing a doctor - yeah, never happened - allowing the local anesthesia time to work then actually placing the sutures in the areas that are blocked...). I vowed out loud to John that in the event any of our kids sustain an injury requiring sutures, but not requiring a skull rad or CT scan, I will do the doctoring.

Here he is loaded up in the minivan on our way to the hospital. He insisted that we NOT move the washcloth from his eye.

We finally made it into an ER bed. He looked so cute with the head bandage the traige nurse gave him. His expression pretty much never changed.

This is 2 days after stitch placement. I think the top of the laceration will leave a scar. Personally, I would have put 3 sutures in it to minimize scarring, but given that he was feeling every bit of the suture placement, I guess I'm glad she only put in 2.

Finally, the UGLY:

Cole's attitude. Ugly, ugly, ugly. Today has been so disappointing. I had planned to devote the entire day to playing with the kids, going to the park, etc. But Cole ruined it. He peed on the floor twice (one of which James crawled through because he thought it was a game that Cole had his legs spread), pooped in his pants 4 times (yes, he has been potty-trained for quite some time), scattered little balls of PlayDoh all over the floor in 3 rooms then refused to get up off the couch to help clean it up. He screamed and climbed into James' crib this afternoon and prevented him from taking his nap until late in the afternoon. He went into Faith's closet and took down ALL of her clothes from hangers and made a pile on the floor. Also add in the hits, pokes, and pulling of his brother and sister. Yes, he got spankings. Yes, he got time-outs. Yes, I took away privileges. I know all the standard operating procedures of parenting. But nothing worked today. As I type this, he is screaming in the kitchen for no good reason. I'm tapped out. I told John that Cole will be his responsibility for the rest of the night. I cannot take anymore today. Just when I thought his attitude was improving. Damn.

Sign Language

2008-03-16T20:50:00.003-05:00

I don't really have anything to add to that.

Life is so EASY without kids (and my boobs feel fantastic!)

2008-03-12T20:41:00.002-05:00

So it is Spring Break. I took the kids out to John's parents' place yesterday. And left them. They will return in 3 days. That's 3 days to get up 45 minutes later in the morning to go to work....3 days to come home to a quiet house with only a husband and an adoring beagle...3 days to watch tv, read books, have quality time with John:).

On a side note that I absolutely MUST blog about: I did something last night that I've been wanting to do for over a year. I've been waiting for that moment that I could go out into the world without kids and do something just for me. I had a professional bra-fitting. I HIGHLY recommend all ladies who have just "guessed" what bra size/style they should wear, spend the time to get fitted. I sucked it up and went to Nordstroms at Barton Creek Mall because I knew they would have a professional sales woman (not some 17-yr old working her hourly wage to go out on Friday night). Sure enough, the woman that helped me was FANTASTIC. She ushered me directly into a fitting room, measured me, and brought me eventually 8-10 bras that she knew would fit my body type. Even for Nordstroms, their prices were do-able ($30-50/bra, comparable to Victoria Secret w/ MUCH better service). I purchased 3 bras (I need to completely re-do my bra wardrobe after having kids), and I feel BEAUTIFUL. I fill out my cups without having $500o-worth of enhancement surgery!! If you are a woman, and you are reading this blog, GO GET A PROFESSIONAL BRA-FITTING. You just don't know how good you can look until you do this. There...that's my public service announcement for the day.

Deep Thoughts by Faith

2008-03-01T23:38:00.002-06:00

Faith: Mom, I want to get my ears pierced.

Me: Do you know what is really involved in getting your ears pierced?

Faith: No.

Me: Come sit with me and I'll tell you. They will sit you in a chair and rub something on your ears to make it so you don't feel anything. Then they will load a little gun with an earring and sit it up to your ear like this....then POOF the earring will shoot into your ear. Then they do the other ear. It might hurt. Then you have to take care of your ears everyday, turning the earrings, cleaning your ears...you can't take your earrings out for a couple of weeks. You have to sleep with them, bathe with them, wear them constantly for the first couple of weeks. Then, when the holes are healed, you can change them out whenever you want.

Me: So....do you think you are ready for earrings?

Faith: Maybe not. Maybe I'll wait until I'm 18.

(pause)

Faith: Will you still be alive then?

Thanks.

Late night grocery shoppin'

2008-02-12T22:40:00.002-06:00

I went to a meeting after work tonight. I made it home in record time, so I decided to hit the grocery store. I'd already been away from home for 14 hours, what's another 30-45 min?

It's interesting to see who visits the grocery store at 10pm on a weeknight. I was surprised at the number of families with their elementary school-age children in the store. No wonder school is difficult for some kids. My kids were in bed 2 hours ago, and there's some days I think they could benefit from even more sleep. Those poor kids up late shopping w/ their parents are completely the victims of bad parenting.

Then there was the family dressed to the nines...there was a mom in a very fancy dress and extremely high heels, the dad in a nice suit, and what looked to be a 3-yr old little girl w/ her fancy dress, tights and patton leather shoes.

The rest of the crowd was pretty random. It was actually nice shopping since the aisles were relatively empty and there were no lines at checkout. I might consider shopping late at night more often. Beats dragging 3 kids along and trying to convince them how exciting and fun the racecar shopping cart can be.

A Little Taste 'O Spring

2008-02-05T19:54:00.000-06:00

The weather was just fantastic today. The high barely reached 80 degrees...in the first week of FEBRUARY!! As long as I can remember, February seemed to always bring the coldest temps of the year. It seems like the few times we got snow/sleet/frost growing up was always during the month of February. Today, though, it felt like spring had sprung.

We spent a lot of the day outdoors with the kids. The spring-like weather got us dreaming about landscaping...flowers and trees and water features, oh my! We couldn't resist, so we started measuring and marking the backyard. By 10am we were at a great nursery in southwest Austin, It's About Thyme, and found all we wanted and more. They have a fantastic selection. Kurt, the guy that helped us, just happened to be the expert there in water features. That is a particular weakness for John & I. He showed us several of his creations. He said he also holds classes once monthly for the do-it-yourselfers, which probably includes us. We would like to do a lot of our own labor, but coordinating around the schedule of 3 little ones is the big challenge. Anyway, we purchased 3 trees: a Monterey Oak (fast growing shade tree for the southwest side of our house), a Shantung maple and a 4-in-1 apple tree, both for the backyard. The apple tree is actually 4 species of apples grafted together, each with 1-2 branches that will produce each variety...I can't wait!! Kurt got me so excited about fruit trees that I think we're going to add peach and plum trees to the lineup. John is going tomorrow to pick them all up. Unfortunately, I have to work the rest of the week. John is going to try to have them all in the ground by the time I get home tomorrow.

Now that we've started on trees, I can't help but start dreaming about the stone pathway, the water features, the flower garden in the back corner....

Where's Nutmeg?

2008-02-04T22:04:00.001-06:00

Can you spot the beagle?

I think I see her...

Found!

What I didn't get a picture of was James crawling in later and sharing that little bed w/ Nutmeg. It was so cute. She's such a good dog.

Belated Halloween Recap

2007-11-12T22:24:00.001-06:00

Halloween was pretty fun. It started out with a neighborhood party and hay ride. Then all the kids went trick-or-treating. Our neighborhood is so kid friendly, so trick-or-treating is always a blast. Some families go all-out w/ the Halloween decor. Rarely is there a home without the front porch light on. James was a real trooper. He wanted to walk just like the big kids. I was impressed with his endurance. Here is my little scary spider:

Cole was a spooky skeleton. He likes being anything scary. It must be a boy thing to be completely entertained by walking around and making a loud roaring sound. This skeleton looks a little knock-kneed!

Faith was a beautiful Southern Belle. Dressed up like this, she just amazes me with her natural poise. She is such an amazing little girl. She is the oldest of the neighborhood girls here, all the rest of which are 4 yrs or younger. Then add the hat, and she is just towering over everybody!

This deserves an honorable mention. I have no idea who they are, but man is that an awesome ensemble. Look closely and you'll see that pirate ship is built around a baby stroller. Dad & son are both appropriately attired. Very impressive!

Maybe I'll post Thanksgiving pictures around Christmas, and Christmas pictures around Valentines Day. Hee hee.

Those funny Baptists

2007-10-24T22:28:00.001-05:00

On my way to/from work everyday, I pass a little country Baptist church in northwestern Hays county. They have a marquise usually sporting anything from scheduled bible studies to quick witted references to the teachings of the bible to thought-provoking statements on being a good person.

Tonight as I drove home what I read on their sign made me LOL. I knew that, although I rarely devote much time to my blog, I had to share the wit of those funny Baptists:

"Sacred cows make great gourmet hamburgers."

Amen to that. Oh, and I'm not "slamming a religion" as John puts it...I'm just really supportive of a well-made gourmet hamburger:)

I wouldn't say "emaciated"...

2007-10-14T18:23:00.000-05:00

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Hostile Ragweed Takeover

2007-10-02T11:48:00.000-05:00

Help! I am being held hostage in my own home. I cannot venture outside for the Ragweed is waiting just outside my door....

What a bust of a birthday weekend. It felt like a mild cool front blew in Saturday afternoon, and apparently stirred up the ragweed with it. Ragweed & molds have been high for a couple of weeks, so I'm not sure why all of a sudden this weekend put me over the top. I've been taking my Allegra & Nasacort daily and had little if any allergy symptoms. Usually once, maybe twice, a year I have a really bad day or two of allergy symptoms that will make me sick for days. Since ragweed is a fall allergen, I usually fall ill around my birthday. Yippee! After 1-2 days of really bad allergic rhinitis (I literally used at least 40-50 kleenex on Sunday alone), all the mucus packs in for a stay at the Hotel Sinus. After a couple days stay there, the mucus starts to venture to the Bronchiole Condominiums for another few days stay.

Yesterday I thought my head was going to explode. Most of the sneezing had subsided, but every movement hurt. I couldn't hear well because my ears were clogged, my nose was so sore from the previous day, and my head must have weighed 1-2 lbs more than usual. I was desperate. So I went to see the doctor yesterday morning to see if there was anything more powerful than what I had already tried (allegra-D, Nasacort - 4x the usual dose, chorpheniramine, benadryl, tylenol, Entex-LA, a Neti-pot, some oil of oregano tincture, cayenne pepper green tea w/ honey). My usual doc was out for the week, so I saw a new doctor. I found myself thinking how young he looked, and how he was not really helping me at all. After I left, I wondered how many of my own clients have left the clinic feeling the same way. Hopefully very few. I'm really big into educating clients during visits. When they bring their pet in for chronic allergies, I stress to them that allergies is not a curable disease, only manageable. I give them literature so they can read up on it themselves. I offer a variety of medicines and modalities as the case warrants to best control that pet's symtoms. So even though I couldn't wave my magic wand and cure their beloved Fifi, at least they don't leave feeling like they didn't accomplish anything by coming in.

But then again, maybe I expect too much from human doctors nowadays. I already know a lot about human medicine by extrapolation from vet medicine. So the main reason I go see a doctor is so he/she can write a prescription for the latest and greatest medicine to help with my ailment (since it's against the law for me to write my own prescription). I already knew all the suggestions he was going to throw at me for managing my allergies.

"Maybe you should see an allergist to find out what you're allergic to." I've already done that.

"Maybe you should try immunotherapy." I've already done that, too.

"If you know you're allergic to ragweed, you should use your allegra & Nasacort regularly through the fall season." Yes, doctor, that's what I've been doing.

He never really answered me when I asked if it is "normal" for a person to clog up in the sinuses like I do for days after a bad allergic attack. I know lots of people with allergies, but none that suffer for days after the sneezing has stopped like I do. He mumbled, "Maybe you have an anatomy problem..." as he wrote me a prescription for Singulair.

Well, at least my $20 copay did buy 2 things: 1) a prescription for Singulair, which is another method of dealing with allergic symtoms (not an antihistamine), which I've never tried before and 2) the knowledge that Entex-LA (strong decongestant requiring an rx) is the same thing as over-the-counter Mucinex-D.

Today I am a little better. My head is still in a fog. My ears are still clogged. But I'm not blowing my nose nearly as much, my sinuses don't hurt as bad. The trade-off, however, is that some of the mucus has gone down to the Bronchiole Condos. I'm running a low-grade fever and coughing some nastiness. In spite of this, I am able to care for the kids today (I could not yesterday). I do plan on returning to work tomorrow (although I'm not looking forward to wearing that surgery mask all morning). Hopefully I won't be hoarse at my sister's wedding this weekend.

Sadly, 2 of my 3 kids have a pretty severe runny nose and some mild coughing right now. I hate allergies. I really do.

Vegas, Baby!

2007-09-17T21:58:00.000-05:00

John came to visit me at work a few weeks ago and said he had a surprise, then tried to leave without telling me. I insisted that he spill the beans right then and there. There was a promotion on the radio for a trip to Vegas. He called in and "won". He asked if I was interested in a 4-day/3-night fully paid trip to Vegas. The answer was "heck yeah!" I LOVE Vegas. I love gambling. I must have inherited that gene from my dad. The one and only time I have ever been to Vegas was 13 years ago (the Luxor was the newest casino on The Strip) on a trip w/ John, my Dad and his crazy, (___insert expletive here___) ex-wife. She was a piece of work...I never realized what a *%tch she was until after my dad died...but that's another post. Anyway, that trip was a blast. My dad and I also took several trips together to Louisiana to the gambling boats and always had a good time. He was a fun person to gamble with. He was always the life of the table. He wasn't just looking to win (although he really wanted to of course), he was looking for a fun table. He had such a great personality. I miss him.

Anyway, it turns out the Vegas trip is an advertisement for a time-share in Vegas. We get our trip paid for, and all we have to do is sit through a 2 hour presentation on a time share the 3rd day of our trip. Totally worth it in my opinion. I have no problem standing up, saying "no thank you" and promptly walking out when it's done. We booked our room at the Riviera, which would have cost us over $500 if we were paying for it. Plus we get complimentary tickets to a comedy show and some gambling credits for the slots. Our airfare will be free, thanks to all the reward points we've accumulated on our credit card.

By the way, if you are not paying your bills with a rewards credit card, you are missing the boat. Two years ago, we switched our regular card to a rewards program card. We use our card to pay every bill we possibly can (including utilities). Then we pay it off in full every month. In doing so, we have earned enough points to buy 2 round-trip airfare tickets to anywhere in the world (yes, even Australia). Or, we can cash in the points for cold-hard cash. Or we can choose from many other options. We pay no fees to the credit card company. This is totally a win situation for us. Highly recommend it.

So now we're trying to pick a date for travel. This will be a much needed vacation for us. John's parents have kindly offered to come "live" at our house for a few days to make sure Faith gets to school and take care of the boys. Now that we've started planning it, I'm so excited. I can't wait to go. We 're shooting for the middle of November. We definitely want to pick up a show or 2. I think the one show we're going to book online in advance is "O", a Cirque de Soleil show that I've heard is phenomenal. John wants to go on some of the new rides at the Stratosphere. I suggest you watch the videa that goes along with this ride...John will be riding alone since I'm afraid of heights.

John & I used to vacation often before the kids. Mostly we went snow skiing, which I miss terribly. Aside from the Texas Hold'em games at someone's home, we haven't gambled in a long time. I'm looking forward to hitting the Blackjack tables. We'll probably both play some Hold'em, too. Man, wouldn't it be great if we hit it big just in time for Christmas shopping. We'll see...

Brain dead

2007-09-15T22:50:00.000-05:00

So I just spent what little brain power I had left at the end of this day to figure out a new template. I had intentions of posting, but alas, my brain is mush. Maybe tomorrow.

My Review of Waterdrop Table Top Water Fountain

2007-08-23T07:41:00.001-05:00

Originally submitted at SimplyFountains.com

The ancient technology of the aqueduct combines with the grace of contemporary design in this water fountain.

Excellent fountain

By Pet Vet from Kyle, TX on 8/23/2007

Pros: Quiet Pump, Attractive Design, Easy Set-up, Good sound quality

Best Uses: Home

Describe Yourself: Stylish

This fountain is perfect. We use it in the entryway of our home. I love the fact that there is a volume control (changes the amount of water flowing through). We set it on the medium volume and it is the perfect sound throughout the front part of our home. Plus the design is very elegant and nice to look at. We especially like the height that this fountain has that most tabletops do not. We've gotten many compliments. This fountain surpasses our expectations!

(legalese)

3rd child syndrome

2007-08-20T21:35:00.000-05:00

So here's my latest twist on the 3rd child syndrome...

The 1st child wore a bib whenever she ate, and we meticulously wiped her with a wet washcloth every few bites to keep her clean.

The 2nd child wore a bib whenever he ate, and we wiped him down once after he finished eating.

The 3rd child won't wear a bib when he eats and he fights the washcloth, so when he's done we strip him down to a diaper, set him on the floor and let the dog lick him clean.

Yes, this sort of happened tonight. Oh well.

On a happier note...

2007-08-17T22:41:00.000-05:00

So it took a day and a half to get my emotions down to almost normal from my last post. Unfortunately, I had to deal w/ some demanding, dare I say rude, clients at work. Communication, communication, communication. I think 90% of all the world's problems could be solved by thorough, exact, unambiguous communication. After Tuesday, I haven't had a lot of emotional reserve to deal with demanding people or mistakes at work. I have been working with a little bit of an "I don't really care if I offend you" attitude, which is highly unusual for me. Sometimes I'm just tired of being nice. But alas, I do feel that I am finally coming off this weird cycle of emotion. I think by next Monday, I'll be back to my smiling, cheerful, put-up-with-almost-anything self.

On a lighter note, here's some pics of my well-adjusted kiddos!

Faith decided to dress up as her version of a bride 1 day and announced that Cole was her groom...what a cute couple!

James is pretty proud of himself anytime he takes a few steps. He's really learning to walk (about 1 month earlier than big brother or sister did...he's 10 months old now).

Losing balance...

You talkin' to me?? I have no idea where this facial expression came from, but John managed to catch it on camera. Notice the 2 scratches on his nose and split lower lip...the hazards of learning to walk (both were face plants this week).

Motherhood insecurity

2007-08-14T18:09:00.000-05:00

Today I had one of the worst days ever as a mother. Every day is an exercise in patience, as each new day presents new & unique challenges. I meet most of these challenges head on, usually finding myself satisfied overall with the results. At the end of the day I feel like I'm a good mother. Of course there's always that voice in the back of my mind wondering if I'm really doing the best that I can...should I have played more with the kids today instead of doing 5 loads of laundry? Should I have put off paying the bills so that we could have all gone to the pool? Did I spend enough time with each individual kid so that they feel secure and loved, or did I leave somebody out? I comfort myself by saying, "Hey, I'm only one person, I'm doing the best I can. Surely each kid knows how much I love them." Overall, I feel like a pretty good mother.

Something happened today, so out of the blue, that has shaken me, and I just can't get over it. I've given up waiting for times when John is home to watch the kids so that I can run errands. If I wait for John, I'd never get it all done (unless I wanted to go out late at night to run errands, give me a break). So for the past couple of months, I've found myself carting around 3 kids to run a couple of hours of errands on my days off from work. Usually it's trips to the grocery store, a quick visit to the clinic, or shopping for the kids (clothes, school supplies, etc). I've been pleasantly surprised by how well the kids behave on these outings. Yes, every once in awhile there's a squabble between Faith & Cole, resulting in a meltdown...but it's usually over in less than 1 minute and we go on about our day. Overall, I feel like my kids are well behaved in public, and I take credit because we discipline our children and balance it with love. In other words, out in public I feel like a good mom.

One of my 1st stops today was the clinic. Several people at the clinic felt the need to comment..."wow, can I help you?"..."here comes Super Mom"...."oh my God, look at all the little kids"..."that's why I only have 2"...etc etc. I let it roll right over me. On to the next errand...

Then I went to Target to finish getting Faith's school supplies. I decided to stop at the Starbuck's inside the store to reward myself and the kids for getting so much done today. I had James in his carseat in the front of the basket. Faith & Cole are instructed to always keep 1 hand on the basket so that we don't get separated. I turned from the basket to order my mocha frap, while Faith & Cole picked out their vanilla milk boxes. The basket was about 4-5 feet from me at one point while I threw some trash away and stuck the straws into the milk boxes. Every couple of seconds I did the "mom scan" (eyes darting quickly from basket to Faith to Cole and back to James to make sure everyone was close by and accounted for). The whole process probably took 2 minutes. I was very aware of everyone around us. There was a couple at the table behind me, a woman in a blue & white striped shirt talking on her cell phone at the table right next to my basket, and another late 50's/early 60's woman with her basket standing next to my basket. The whole process took about 2 minutes. I had everyone load back up onto the basket when the 50-60 yr old woman mentioned above put her hand on my basket preventing me from moving. She then said to me,

"You know, a woman in California had her baby kidnapped when she walked away like you did. I felt like I had to stand here and watch your kids for you because you look like you can't handle it all."

I said, very kindly, "Thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it," then tried to walk away. She wouldn't budge and wouldn't take her hand off my basket. Then she went on to say,

"I had to keep standing here. I couldn't leave without telling you how easy it would be to kidnap one of your kids. You can't just walk off and leave them like this...." and she went on and on...and I couldn't get away until she had taken all of my motherhood self esteem and trampled it on the floor, then picked it up, set fire to it, and blew the smoke in my face. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally was able to remove my basket from her firm grasp and push it 5 feet before Faith darted in front of it so that it hit her at the heels, causing her to collapse on the floor in a crying heep. I just put my head in my hands for about 30 seconds and took some long deep breaths.

The rest of the time at the store, I had several people approach me and say comments like, "Wow, 3 kids", "You sure have your hands full" and "you've got a big load" (referring to all kids in/on the basket). Good freakin' grief. Hasn't anyone ever seen anyone with 3 small kids? I'm sorry our family doesn't fit the average 1.86 kids per family in the U.S. As I walked through the store (which was full of parents w/ their children school shopping), EVERY mother had 1 or 2 kids. I only saw 1 mom w/ 3 kids, and they were spaced a bit apart. It seemed like everybody I passed had to look in my direction and pass judgement.

Yes, I have 3 kids under the age of 5. Yes, it's a lot of work. No, I'm not perfect, but I'm doing the best I can. All of my kids are disciplined. All of my kids have manners and say please, thank you, yes ma'am and no ma'am. My kids have tantrums (hello, they're toddlers), but we move on. They seem happy, well adjusted. I give and I give. I give to my kids, I give to my husband, I give to my clinic. I keep this house running. And yet today, I let a 5o-yr old stranger make me feel like a failure. I'm doing the best I can. Tomorrow is another day.

Neat Color Test

2007-07-08T10:47:00.000-05:00

I got this Glidden color test site from one of my friend's sister's blog. It's a fun thing to do when you've got a spare minute. Here are my results:

--You are a very sensitive individual who quietly makes accomplishments without the need of publicity.

--You enjoy spending money on luxurious items you know possess quality (yeah, like furniture).

--You are very excited about achieving more out of life...building your self-confidence can help you reach these goals.

--You have a wide variety of interests...and you continually expand your spectrum of knowledge to assist others.

--You feel something has been holding you back from achieving all you desire...and you have been looking for a possible change.

It would be fun to see the results of other people's tests. If you do this, email me your results if you have the time.

The Many Faces of James

2007-07-06T22:46:00.001-05:00

Whatcha doin?

Taco time!

Crazy hair day!

Phooey!!

Happy Birthday to Faith!

2007-07-03T13:21:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's been 5 years since our lives completely changed forever. About this time (1:25pm) I was being admitted to the hospital with my first pregnancy, 2 days overdue, for a surprise last minute induction because my blood pressure spiked during my OB checkup. I remember my doc saying those words that struck instant fear into my core: "Well, you're going to have your baby today." So matter-of-factly. I remember thinking for a split second, "How do you know?" But then realization set in that I was about to be induced. He could obviously see the surprise mixed with fear in my face because he gently placed his hands on my knees and quietly said, "Don't be afraid, everything is going to be alright, you can do this." This being my first pregnancy, I had the common motherhood dream of my water breaking, the excitement of rushing to the hospital, everything going relatively "naturally" as Mother Nature intended. So the idea of induction, a surprise one at that, didn't sit well with me. Anyway, the hospital was across the street from my doc's office, so off we went walking. Shortly after admission, they had me hooked up to monitors, IV lines, etc, then my doctor broke my water. Wow, it didn't take long. I had the epidural around 3:30 or so, started pushing around 5:45, and she was born at 6:02pm. Wow, has it really been 5 years?? I remember it like it was yesterday.

Well, now I can say that not only have I survived 3 births, I have just survived our first official birthday party. Up until this point, we've always just done family dinners to celebrate birthdays. But now Faith is old enough to enjoy a real party, which took place this past Saturday at our house. Faith is really into flowers right now, so that had to be her theme. We had eight 4-5 yr olds running around, and thankfully a few parents hung around to help out. I underestimated my abilities, especially with James in the mix. He had a blow-out diarrhea right smack in the middle of the party. Thankfully his grandparents were here to help, and they quickly took him upstairs for a bath. Here is the flower cake I created. I asked Faith what kind of cake she wanted (expecting "chocolate" or "strawberry" as the answer), and she immediately replied, "I want a chocolate cake with white icing with pink sprinkles and my name on it and a #5 candle." I think I met her requests!

The party started off with plain terracotta pots for everyone to paint and decorate as they pleased. That was fun. There was just as much paint on some of the kids as on the pots. Here Cole is really concentrating on his project.

While the pots were drying, we all came in for hot dogs. The kids got to create their own dog, adding mayo, mustard, ketchup, chili and/or cheese as they desired. Obviously the best part of lunch for the kids was the creation process because very few actually ate much. Then came the cake. Faith smiled so big when we all started singing. It was great!

Next we all adjourned to the living room for the opening of presents. Check out this awesome balloon bouquet that my sister, Cara, brought for Faith. Gift opening was quite an adventure. The kids kept closing in on Faith & I like vultures over a fresh kill. I kept having to play defense and scoot everybody back so Faith could rip the wrapping paper. All the kids would scoot back for about 3-4 seconds, then start moving in again. It was pretty funny.

Finally, we went back outside to plant flowers in our newly decorated pots. Each kid got his/her own set of gloves, spade, and a watering can. They got to pick out the color of flower they wanted to plant and scoop the dirt themselves. You could tell they were pretty proud of their creations. I think their favorite part was using the watering cans. Here are some of the partiers at the end (3 kids are missing from the photo).

So overall, I think the party was a success. Faith definitely had a good time. Her friends got to take home their plant and gardening tools as "party favors". Everyone seemed pretty happy. As for me, I went out with my sister that afternoon and celebrated with a couple of Don Julio Mexican Martinis from Trudy's.

Well Hello, Hello...

2007-06-28T16:50:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know my boss instantly thought of him when you read my title, you know you did. Yesterday I was examining a dog's eyelids very carefully under anesthesia for distichia, which necessitated the donning of the famous "duck hat". This hat has a magnifying glass that fits over the eyes so that you can see very tiny structures, and even those of us with good eyes can find them useful from time to time. Anyway, my colleagues immediately called me "mini me" of my boss, who is probably the only other person in the clinic that I've seen with that hat on. Oh, well. I admire him, so I'm ok with being his protege.

Having not posted in over a month, I found it hard to decide what in the world to talk about. So much has happened...Faith's dance recital, Faith's graduation from preschool, a new furniture purchase, our annual trip to River Inn at Hunt, Texas... I've decided to just talk about the present. I'll catch up on the other events time permitting.

We've been having some pretty unusual weather the past week or so. Our rainfall for the year is definitely up. June has felt more like April, but I'm not complaining. The moderate temperatures have been a relief. Here is an awesome picture John took out of Faith's bedroom window last week.

Father's Day was nice. We had John's brother's family over since we all live in the same neighborhood. I decided my choc-aholic husband would love a chocolate cake. The kids always love helping me cook (and lick the bowls/beaters/spoons, etc). Everyone had to get in on the action. James couldn't stand being on the floor left out, so even he got to sit on the island. Of course, there were some other adult treats being made, too. John has almost perfected the Mexican Martini:)

Faith loves to play dress-up. Naturally, Cole wants to do whatever big sis does. He has no problems getting in touch with his feminine side, much to John's dismay. Today, they decided to dress up like ballerinas and put on a show for me. They are both quite the little performers.

Vetmommy, maybe you should show these pictures to your son. He just might rethink his position on dance. Boys can perform just as well as girls!

What is China?

2007-05-22T22:32:00.001-05:00

Today we drove to Rain Creek to visit John's parents and leave the kids for a couple of days while John & I celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary. We are child-free for the next 2 days, and I plan on sleeping through the night for the first time in, oh, about 8-9 months.

On the way there, I could hear Faith in the back of the van talking with Cole about China. Every few words I heard "China" or "Chinese". John & I were wondering what in the world she was talking about. He & I had not had any conversations about China with her. We figured maybe she was learning about different cultures in her preschool or maybe on Noggin. So finally I turned and asked, "Faith, what is China?"

"I don't know."

"Where did you hear about China?"

"I don't know....(long pause)...Nanny likes Chinese girls."

I immediately burst out laughing. A little over a week ago, Faith had her 1st dance recital (I'll post pictures later). I had to put her hair up in a bun and used at least 20 bobby pins, a ton of hair gel and hairspray to make it happen. My sister, Cara, was visiting for the weekend to go to the recital, and was watching me get Faith ready. While I was fixing Faith's bun, Cara & I were reminiscing about our childhood, when Mom ("Nanny" to Faith) would put my hair up in a bun, let it dry, then take it down and it would be very full & curly. She would always pull my hair up so tight that I swear it felt like my eyes would slant back. I told Cara that Mom would make me look like a Chinese girl, to which Cara replied, "I guess she likes Chinese girls."

Hence, over 1 week after that conversation was overheard and internalized, Faith makes the aforementioned announcement. Pretty funny.

The Furniture Tangent

2007-05-10T09:58:00.000-05:00

I love decorating our home. I wish I just had about $20,000 to really do it right! For the things I really want right now, we would need about $6000. We have borrowed some couches from John's parents just to fill some necessary spaces. For those of you who have been to our house, you know our color scheme is gold/red/green. These couches happen to be BLUE. Yes, I'm definitely grateful for the furniture, but I am annoyed on a daily basis looking at the clash of colors.

So in my little tiny bit of spare time, I have drug the kids to a couple of furniture stores "just to look". Our want list includes a good media couch (with a family of 5 to seat, it could get pretty expensive), a loveseat/chair combo for our front living room, and a master bedroom set for us (we are currently using my parents' old set - nearly 30 years old with a bit of a medieval very dark wood look). Priority-wise, the media couch and front living couch are neck-and-neck.

So we're walking around Lack's on Tuesday when I come across a fantastic, perfect-sized table for our entryway. I've been looking for a small table to put there since we moved in 2 years ago, but never found the right size or look. When I came across this one, I knew it was perfect. So we bought it. It really does look great in that space. HOWEVER, being so close to our dining room, we have realized that the dining room furniture has to go. We haven't really liked it for some time (we bought it 5 years ago when our tastes were different). But now that the entry table offsets it so, we REALLY want a new dining set NOW. So our $300 purchase has turned into a furniture tangent. It's easy for me to start shopping for one thing, then get off on a suddenly high-priority tangent, especially when it comes to furniture. I think we'll Craig's list the dining set and see how it goes...

All in a Day's Work

2007-05-05T21:15:00.000-05:00

First of all, I have to brag on my beautiful baby boy. He had his 6 month pictures taken at Kiddie Kandids last week, and they turned out awesome! He was in a great mood. Just about every shot taken by the photographer (who was really good) turned out great the first time. We did his photo shoot in just minutes. This is the easy age. I think after 6 months, it gets harder and harder to take kid pictures. They either won't cooperate (usually Cole's M.O.) or they won't smile (Faith's M.O.).

Here he is sitting up. We put him on this bench and he assumed this pose on his own. I think it's just precious! Yes, I'm biased. His development is taking me by surprise. On the day he turned 6 months he started crawling. Then 2 days later he was able to sit up on his own. One week later, he was pulling himself up to a stand on furniture. As of now he is 1 week away from turning 7 months, and he can already stand himself up easily (holding on to furniture) and take a few steps on his own (again, holding onto whatever he pulled up by). I guess he feels the need to keep up with big brother and sister. I'm just amazed. Actually, I'm a little sad. He is our last baby and he is just growing up a little too fast!

Last weekend we had Front Porch Days in Plum Creek. This is a 2 day weekend event held annually that is very social - come out and meet the neighbors, eat, listen to live music all day long, play on the playscapes, shop at local vendors. It's pretty cool -- one more reason I'm convinced we live in the best neighborhood ever. I really love this place. And, we have awesome neighbors. There are 4 houses right around ours that have kids all the same age - it's really great. Anyway, here is my limber son taking his turn down the giant inflatable slide. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "rubbernecking"!

We enrolled Faith in dance class this spring starting in January. She has been learning the basics of point and tap. I think tap is her favorite, but I'd be surprised if tap wasn't everybody's favorite at this age. Who wouldn't like to walk around making clicking sounds when you're 4? She has her very first dance recital 1 week from today. I had the privilege of watching her class perform during their 1st official dress rehearsal this past week. It's so funny, the youngest girl in the class (I'm guessing 3yrs old) did the best job. Mostly they all bounce around looking cute, watching their dance teacher for cues. Both times they did their routine, Faith barely kept up. But then when we got home, she did the entire routine by herself almost perfectly. So she has proven she knows the routine and can do it; it's the performing in front of others that is the challenge. I'm anxious to see how they all do once they're on a big stage with lights and a big audience. When she came home from her dress rehearsal, apparently Cole thought she looked pretty funny. Nutmeg, as always, gave her the sniff-down.

As you can see, my "free time" revolves around the kids. I like it that way. Yes, that means I might go a whole month without blogging :), but I have had some really great quality time with the kids. I'm really enjoying this time in our lives. Today we went out for lunch, went to the park, then painted when we got home. I just pray that all this special time leaves a mark on each of them so that they never feel the need to seek out negativity to fill any void in their lives. I hope that a strong, close family will overcome all temptations. Hopefully those temptations won't come around until they are at least teenagers, but now is the time to lay the foundation.

Aside from being a mom, my life as a vet has been tremendously rewarding. I love my job! It is so much fun going to work these days. I've had some interesting, challenging cases over the past month, and I have learned so much. That's what is so exciting about being a vet - there is always more to learn, and work is rarely monotonous. I did have an unexpected emergency arise this past Wednesday - a very special case, indeed. I was hanging around the clinic over lunch (which I often do to catch up on medical records, lab work, phone calls, etc) when I got a call from Faith's daycare. There was an emergency: Faith was crying during naptime. When her teachers asked what was wrong, she finally admitted she had stuffed a rock WAY up her nose. So they called me. Have no fear, Vet Mom was on the way! I stuffed a pair of alligator forceps, hemostats and ophthalmoscope (for light) into my pocket and arrived on the scene within 5 minutes. Immediately I could tell which nostril the rock was lodged in - it was quite noticeably larger than the other. I took Faith to a secluded area of the facility so she wasn't embarrassed in front of all her classmates. I spent the next 10 minutes convincing her that nothing I stuck up her nose was going to hurt. She finally relaxed and let me go fishing. The rock was actually too big to grab with the alligator forceps, so out came the hemostats. On the 2nd try, a pretty decent sized rock was retrieved from her right nostril. If I remember correctly, her first words were, "Wow, that rock has a lot of snot on it." Mission accomplished. Thank you very much - it's all in a day's work!

To do list

2007-05-03T21:25:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm alive. Barely. Actually, I feel very alive, just very fatigued most of the time. I am posting only to say that blogging is officially on my To Do list for this Saturday...stay tuned:)

Gurgle, gurgle...and some random pics

2007-03-21T12:58:00.000-05:00

Gurgle, gurgle...bloop, gurgle...Yes that's the serenade my GI tract is singing to me today:) Medically minded ones would call this borborygmas; today I call it miserable. Sometimes I think everything that happens to us in life really is to teach us something. My current experience reminds me to be emphathetic with my patients. I hospitalized a dog on Monday that had "vomited 10-15 times since 5pm Sunday" according to his owner. In front of me I saw a bright, alert but dehydrated dog. I put him on IV fluids, watched him vomit foam about 10 minutes after admission, then gave him some anti-nausea medication. A few hours later he had watery diarrhea, poor guy. For the remainder of the day he stood in his cage like he just wasn't terribly comfortable. I felt sorry for him, mostly because he looked sad in the cage. Little did I know that would be MY medical history a few short hours later. I started feeling nauseous around noon. One of my coworkers joked, "If it's a girl this time, can I have her?" Ha ha. By 1pm I was curled around the clinic toilet finding out how well it really gets cleaned. From 1 to 3:30pm I vomited every 15 minutes or so, totaling somewhere between 10 and 15 times. I felt like my body truly was trying to turn inside out. Eventually I ended up curled up on a pallet on the floor of our office at work hugging our surgery bucket. Not the most professional image:) I realized this is probably exactly what my aforementioned canine patient had been going through. We see "gastroenteritis" on such a routine basis that it's easy to become somewhat complacent about it at work. Well, my empathy has been renewed! Yesterday I felt exhausted (and about 3 lbs lighter), but no more vomiting. So I thought I'd be returning to a day of surgery at work today. Wrong! At 5am today, round 2 started with a vengeance. But the good news is, it looks like I can fit into all of my pre-pregnancy clothes again, at least for a day or so!

I have to give props to my friend and coworker, Leah. She got off work on Monday around 2pm but graciously hung around for over an hour waiting for me to stop vomiting long enough to drive me home. Halfway home things got quiet in the car...I was sure I was going to have to use the trash can we had swiped from work for the trip. But, alas, we made it! Thank you, Leah!

On a lighter note, now that James has officially turned 5 months old, we introduced him to rice cereal this week. It's been hit or miss so far. He likes to watch us eat, but isn't quite sure what to do with it himself.
On the spur of the moment this past Saturday, I decided to take Faith and Cole to the beauty salon (ok, Cost Cutters). This was the first time anyone but me has cut Faith's hair. She was so excited. I let her look at the book with kids' hairstyles and pick the one she wanted. This is it. She looks so much older to me! Good grief. I do like her taste, though. I think she cut off about 5 inches.

Here's a creepy photo. A few weeks ago Cole "accidentally" slammed Faith's fingers in a closet door. Her fingertips swelled up pretty badly and the nails turned dark purple. We figured it was just a matter of time before the nails sloughed off. Well that momentous occasion came this week. I thought Faith would be terrified of the whole situation, but thanks to John, she thinks it's really "cool". Smart daddy.

In Sickness and in sickness

2007-03-11T12:38:00.000-05:00

The first 6 years of our marriage (1996-2002 B.C. - Before Children) were healthy. "In sickness and in health" was an easy vow to keep. We've definitely transitioned into the "sickness" phase of the vows thanks to the lovely youngsters in our house.

Last week, Faith woke up with 105 - 106 degree fever, turned out to be the flu. James burst an eardrum after 3 days of upper respiratory congestion and ear infection. I had a mild flu but a raging sore throat for a little over a week. John had the same. Cole, thankfully, was feeling ok.

Yesterday (Saturday), I called John at work to ask if he was sure it was his Saturday to work and not mine. You see, with our work schedules, we take turns working Saturdays. The person not at work gets the joy of staying home with the kids. Normally, this really is nice. There's no sleeping in anymore - the last time I slept past 7:30am was almost 5 years ago. But at least when I'm off from work, the morning is a little more leisurely. The kids are demanding of breakfast and activities, but at least there's no timeline to our morning. Yesterday, however, going to work would have been MUCH more fun than staying home.

At 4:55am, I was awoken by an ear-piercing scream from Cole's room. I jumped up to see what was the matter, assuming some type of "night terror", and found Cole lying in bed screaming at the top of his lungs. He looked half-asleep. I touched him and tried to calm him but he just kept screaming. So I picked him up and rocked him for awhile. Naturally, as soon as I started rocking him, James woke up screaming in our bedroom. John had already left for work, so I was on my own. I had to just let James scream; "one kid at a time" is my motto. So when I went to lay Cole back in his bed, he screamed, "I don't want my bed!" When I asked why, he never would give me a coherent answer. Finally as I layed him down again, he said, "There's throw-up!" Great. I turned the lights on and sure enough, there was vomit all over his bed. I didn't smell it or feel it on him. Oh well. I got to the task of cleaning him off, changing his clothes and the bed sheets, then put him back to bed. He said he felt ok. Then I went off to nurse James. Ten minutes later, another blood-curdling scream from Cole's room. You guessed it, Round Two. After another change, I was back to feeding James. Then I rolled back into my bed around 6am.

Around 7am, Cole lets himself into our bathroom (never a good thing) and starts banging around. I decide it's pointless to try to get anymore sleep, so I got up. Cole announced he had "poo poo", so I told him to go to his room and I would meet him there for a diaper change. The next 30-60 seconds cost us $300. He had EXPLOSIVE diarrhea from our bedroom door, all the way across the loft, into his bedroom, a large wet pile in the middle of his bedroom floor, then a trail to his bathroom. This was not just any poo, this was the poo from H*LL. After bathing him, I spent the next 1.5 hours on my hands and knees with a Bissell spot lifter (not the tool for this task) in a vain attempt to remove the dark brown stains from our light beige carpet.

So here's how a married couple with 3 small children spend an average Saturday night: Play in the backyard with the kids in the last of the daylight, load everybody up in the minivan and pay a visit to Sears, plunk down $300 for a good quality Hoover SteamVac, plunk down another $48 at Chili's because it's late and we're all hungry (I fully deserved the 2 margaritas I treated myself to), then come home to clean up poop stains from the carpet. We all retired around 10:30 (11:30 once we set our clocks ahead), only to wake a couple hours later for James' middle of the night feeding.

I love my family - in sickness and in health.

Balancing Act

2007-02-24T15:49:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't blogged in a long time (except for the baptism post earlier today). There is so much to say, so little time to say it. John has stepped up and volunteered to keep the kids with him for awhile this afternoon so I can have a little time to myself. I have so many things I need to get done, and now that I have a few moments I find that I'm having a hard time prioritizing them. So it's a good time to blog.

My return to work after 7 months of maternity leave has actually been thrilling. After I had Cole, I still felt guilty going to work. I felt like I was never really 100% when I was at the clinic. There was always something nagging at me - I'm not sure if it was guilt or some form of anxiety or what. I guess looking back I felt a little ill at ease with my experience level in vet medicine. I was seeking perfection in my work so much that I had a hard time relaxing and enjoying the ride. I was also seeking perfection at home, trying to be everything to John & the kids and then feeling guilty at the end of the day that I hadn't spent enough time with them. Oddly, I find myself in a whole different place now.

I think having 3 kids got me over the perfectionist threshold. It was not a conscious decision, just one that came to be naturally. I think that I am so busy with the kids at home on my "days off", that I truly enjoy returning to work 3 days/week. And vice versa. I no longer feel the guilt that so many working moms do. That's not to say I never will. I'm sure there will be times that I wish I could be there more for my kids. There will probably be future events that I will miss due to work. But right now I'm ok with that. I was home with all 3 kids for 3 months after James was born. I got sucked into a daily routine of maintaining the home. I found that I really didn't do all that much on a one-on-one basis with the kids. I was treading water and felt like all space & time had come to a screeching halt. Now my momentum is back. I need to have a purpose other than motherhood. I think it makes me a better mother and wife. I think my kids will be happier with a mom who is happy. I get so much fulfillment from my work and I know that carries over into my home. Working allows me to be stimulated, then in return to stimulate my children. They seem to be interested in my work, even at this young age, and I like to think that they will be more exposed to the shared roles of parenthood and bread-winner, not locked into the idea that men need to bring home the bacon while women fry it up in a pan. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it just doesn't work for me. I remember I used to read everything I could about the "Mommy Wars" (stay-at-home mom vs working mom). Anytime I heard they were going to talk about it on TV, I tried to tune in. If there was an article in a magazine or newspaper, you could be sure I had read it. I was always striving to find my niche. Well, I've finally found it. I don't think it's an argument for which is right or wrong; it's more a decision of what's right for me.

The irony is that after all that time off from work, I feel like I'm actually a better veterinarian. That peace that I have found with my place in life has definitely spilled over into my daily profession. I no longer seek perfection at work. I am human. All doctors are human. We're going to make mistakes. To put my own M.D. on a pedestal and expect that he would never make a mistake is ridiculous. We take all the knowledge that we have available, take into account our patient's needs, the needs and abilities of their owners, and do the best we can. Practicing medicine has come back to me like riding a bike. I'm shocked sometimes at how easily I remember things. I have to look up drug doses more than I used to just to be sure - I'm just not willing to *think* I know the right dose and then make a mistake. In time, I won't have to look that up as much. I'm not stressed at work anymore. I used to be (I know, I never let it really show; it was all internal). That's pretty much gone now. Yes, there are busy days at work, but all I can do is do my best. Then I get to come home to my beautiful family.

There's always more and better things we want out of life...more money, better furniture, more time, more sleep! That's ok. If I had nothing to want for, life would be pretty boring. I have to say, right now life is pretty good. James' unexpected arrival into our lives has turned out to be an unexpected blessing in ways I couldn't have expected. There is a plan for us greater than what we can conceive. I think we just have to let it happen.

Don't cry over spilled candlewax

2007-02-24T15:14:00.000-06:00

Through the 10 years of our marriage, John and I have been nomads. We have moved from town to town around central Texas. In doing so, we have found it difficult to find a church home. He was raised Catholic, I was raised Lutheran, and we never seemed to find the right church for both of us. We have actually attended more Baptist services over the past 10 years than anything. It seemed that we could always find a good Baptist church with an invigorating preacher no matter what town we were in. When we finally bought a house in Kyle (the house that I have no intention of ever moving from!), we finally set out in earnest to select a church that our family could join. We have happily begun attending Bethany Lutheran Church. I really like the pastors, the congregation that we have met thus far seems very nice, and they are large enough to have a well established children's ministry. It is really important to me to be able to raise our kids on a strong foundation. I hope that they will enjoy growing up in this church.

Two Sundays ago, we were thrilled to finally get Cole & James baptized. Faith was baptized at 3 months of age at my hometown Lutheran Church, but in all our moving we never got Cole baptized. They did so well. Cole was obviously a little concerned about the whole proceedings, but there was no crying or resisting. A quiet calm came over both the boys (thankfully...I prayed for that prior to the service). The only "outburst" came from Faith after church was over. We decided to stand near the baptismal candle and font for a family picture. Faith, however, backed right into the lit candle, spilling wax all over the carpeted floor near the altar. She burst out crying, she felt so bad. I felt sorry for her. One of the pastors walked by and kindly said, "It's ok, it happens all the time." I wonder if that was a little white lie he told right there in church! We tried to tell Faith it was no big deal (we were just happy we didn't catch the church on fire!), but you can see from this picture she was not too happy about the whole situation.

Afterwords, we invited all the family to come over for lunch and visiting. I bought some beautiful white and red tulips from Randalls to celebrate the day. I wish I could afford to always have fresh flower arrangements in my home. They bring so much beauty to the room and really brighten my day. So we are excited about finding a church that we like and are in the process of joining. Hopefully we'll make a lot of new friends and our children will grow up knowing God.

I'm trying

2007-02-17T17:33:00.000-06:00

Faith & Cole are watching a recording of A Charlie Brown Valentine's, James is entertaining himself with a pacifier, John is in the shower, so I have a very valuable few moments to myself to write...

What was I thinking? James just started screaming and I realized it's time to feed him. Oh well, I'll try again later. I thought about erasing this post, but then I figured at least it's something to prove I am trying...

It's all Greek to Me!

2007-02-12T21:42:00.000-06:00

Thank you, Leah, for your comments about my blog. She informed me of the interesting links attached to this template. So I checked it out in it's entirety just a few seconds ago & realized there's some interesting language used, too. God only knows what it says - hopefully nothing crude or rude! That'll teach me to download a blog template in a hurry without checking it all out. Anyway, as usual I don't have time right now to fix it (James & John are anxiously waiting for me), so I'll tend to it tomorrow I hope. So pardon my language on the blog, it's all Greek to me:)

I only have 2 seconds...

2007-02-09T21:26:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm still here. I've been refusing to post another update until I have time to redo my template/background, but alas, that is not happening. I have returned to work - have much to say about that. We've redone a room in our house, so staying very busy finishing that project. We have the whole family coming this weekend to witness and celebrate the baptisms of Cole & James this Sunday. We're all very excited about that (and I'm busy cleaning house). Now John is calling me from the other room because James is hungry. Gotta run! I promise after this weekend, I will get my blog up to date!

Is God Trying to Tell Me Something?

2007-01-12T23:15:00.000-06:00

I thought I would do a quick post to update everyone on life as I know it.

There are only 2 days of my maternity leave left. I return to the clinic on Monday. Yes, I'm a little nervous. I don't know if I'm more nervous about my return to work after 7 months of not practicing medicine or the fact that John will be at home all day with all 3 kids for the first time. I hope James isn't too hard on him; he's very much a Momma's boy (aren't all breastfed babies?). I get to become intimately acquainted with the lovely breastpump again. Gee, I can't wait. That thing is so mechanical; it just takes all the "nature" out of Mother Nature.

As far as my toe is concerned, I'm not entirely sure how that thing is doing. I tried again unsuccessfully to put my foot in my loosest clogs today. It hurts just standing there, much less trying to walk. So I guess I'll get to debut my ugly shoe at work next week. As I started up the stairs today I managed to partially stub my toes on the bottom stair. I felt my toe move unnaturally and cringed. Then it felt kinda funny for most of the rest of the day. By the time this is over, no telling which way it will be pointing. It's amazing how often we brush our toes against things and don't notice it (until one is broken). I'm so paranoid about the 10 other feet in this house, too. So far, Faith, Cole and Nutmeg (the beagle) have all managed to step on my foot despite my most defensive maneuvers. Most of the time I sit like a wounded animal with my lame foot positioned underneath me to protect it from everyone around me. I'll probably take an xray at work next week to see what in the world it looks like.

I try to scan the newspaper everyday. I'm not a big fan of the comics and generally refuse to read anything that is more than a single box ("Far Side" style). I just don't have the time to read through a multi-box/strip comic. Anyway, there is one exception to my rule. One of my favorite comic strips is "Baby Blues". I can so relate to these poor parents of 3 young children. We might as well laugh at the craziness of our life, right? Here's a quote from a couple of days ago that totally puts our life in perspective - it is very much what our life is like:

"The window of conversational opportunity continues to shrink..."(mom is carrying a wailing baby while dad is pulling the 2 toddlers the opposite direction) - as they pass in the hall, the mom says, "Remind me to finish the story I started to tell you this morning after the kids go to bed, but before I fall asleep or forget it altogether."

On a totally different note, I was doing dishes tonight when a realization suddenly struck: All the forces of nature have conspired to keep me from pursuing my career. First, I become surprisingly pregnant with complications that keep me on bedrest. Then I break my toe 1 week before my planned return to work. Then I watched the news tonight to find that the major cold front hitting this weekend will be accompanied by a lot of precipitation (the so-called "wintery mix"). The forecast predicts that ice accumulation will be at its worst on Monday morning - my first day back at work. Is God trying to tell me something??

Family Photos

2007-01-12T13:52:00.000-06:00

Yesterday James turned 3 months old, so precedent with the other 2 kids demanded we take pictures at Kiddie Kandids. With Faith & Cole, we took pictures at 3 mos, 6 mos, 9 mos, 12 mos and yearly thereafter. We started this with Faith, not realizing we would eventually have 3 kids. I wish we owned stock in Kiddie Kandids:) I could go someplace less expensive, but these photos always turn out so darn cute. What you're not seeing here is all the awesome borders, montages, etc that they add to the pictures before print. The pictures we took home yesterday are officially the best ones yet.

Here's Faith in her serious pose. She has such beautiful eyes. I'm so proud of her.

Here's Cole. What a cutie. He loves trains right now (thanks to The Polar Express movie), so this prop was appropriate.

The photographer caught a candid shot of him climbing up their ladder. I love how this captures his intoxicating eyes. Ladies look out! I predict we'll have our hands full when he hits puberty.

Then of course is our precious baby James. This was one of the rare shots when he wasn't fussy. He didn't really cry at the studio, but he didn't want to cooperate, either. In almost all of his shots he had a most worried expression on his face. More pictures to follow in the next post...

I'll Never Be a Foot Model:(

2007-01-05T10:49:00.000-06:00

Well, I just returned from my follow-up visit with my family doctor. They took post-reduction xrays, and my toe looks OK. Not great, but OK. It's still about 15 degrees or so out of alignment, but just looking down at the toe (without xray), it looks fairly straight, just massively swollen and bruised. The doctor offered to do a ring block around the base of my toe and try to reduce it further, but we both decided it probably wasn't necessary. It's just a pinky toe after all, and I'm no foot model:). I should be able to wear shoes again just fine once it's healed. It still hurts pretty constantly. I saw this woman in the waiting room wearing pointy-toed very high heeled shoes, and I cringed. It hurt just to look at those shoes. I'm taking Tylenol every 6 hours and wearing the ugly shoe to walk. Every once in awhile I accidently move the wrong way and I get a shooting pain. Yesterday I think I actually felt the bone move - ugh. I just hope I can put on a normal shoe before my return to work in 10 days. If I'm still limping like I am now, it'll take me forever to get from exam room to exam room. Actually, I hope I can drive in this goofy shoe (it had to be my right foot). Otherwise, how will I even get to work? I'm sure I'll be fine in a week or so. The kids are on their way to Rain Creek to hang with the grandparents for a couple of days while I recover and try to get some final things done around the house before my return to the working world. 10 days and counting...

What's Your Diagnosis?

2007-01-04T16:05:00.000-06:00

Signalment: 33-yr old female Caucasian

History: Female was coming up the stairs and turned too quickly upon reaching the top. All body parts except for right 5th phalanx (aka pinky toe) made it around the corner. Note: Patient is currently breastfeeding infant child. Patient took 2 Tylenol immediately prior to presentation.

Physical Exam: Attitude bright and alert, ironically giggling despite severe pain. Toes 1 through 4 are pointing North, while digit 5 is pointing East (see photo). Severe pain upon palpation. Patient is ambulating funny ("limping"). All other systems are within normal limits.

Radiographs reveal oblique spiral fracture completely through proximal phalanx of digit 5 (long bone of the pinky toe). No joints appear to be involved.

Treatment: Unfortunately, since patient is breastfeeding (see above History), she cannot take any narcotics to numb the pain. Therefore, digital traction and manipulation of toe was performed in an effort to realign bone while patient held onto hospital bed for dear life and shouted expletives. Despite several minutes of manipulation (and excruciating pain), unable to completely realign bone. Taped toe to adjacent toe in semi-straight position. Applied ugly shoe.

Plan: Referral to orthopedic specialist in hopes that patient will someday again be able to wear pointy-toed shoes:)

Yes, that's how I spent yesterday afternoon. I can't help but wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that we decided not to eat black-eyed peas on New Year's Day. My next doctor appointment is tomorrow morning. More to follow...

Thunderstorm dinner

2006-12-30T13:12:00.000-06:00

Last night was hilarious. We had some pretty decent thunder and lightening that began shortly before dinner. Everytime there was a thunderclap, Cole came running and hugged my leg while I was cooking. Thankfully, by the time supper was ready, the storm had mostly subsided. However, there was the occasional distant thunder that still prevented Cole from eating a normal meal. This is how he spent most of the time at the table...

Yes, I felt sorry for him a little, but he was so darn cute we all laughed together at him. Even he started chuckling eventually. It was so funny. He would get so close to taking a bite of food - the fork would be loaded and just an inch or so from his lips - then he would quickly set it back down on his plate and assume the position. Same thing whenever he tried to take a drink. Poor little dude.
Here's James in his new Christmas Bumbo seat. These things are pretty cool. Babies really like to be able to sit up, and this thing does a much better job than the traditional bouncy chairs. He likes being able to see what's going on around him much better. No, I didn't mean to get him a girly-purple chair...I thought I was buying a green chair until we got home and opened the box...

The Trail of Lights

2006-12-22T09:45:00.000-06:00

Last night we visited the Trail of Lights at Zilker Park. Man, I wish we would've brought a camera (not for the lights, but for the kids). First, we waited in line on the access road for 40 minutes to get to parking. That worked out ok since we've joined the ranks of soccer-mom-minivan-owners:). We bought a brand new Honda Odyssey one month ago. It is definitely the most luxurious vehicle we've ever owned (if you can get over the "minivan stigma", which I never had to begin with). It's so funny, everytime we pass a vehicle on the road, John proclaims, "You just got passed by a minivan!" Anyway, passing the time in the van last night waiting for parking was so easy thanks to our DVD/entertainment system. The kids enjoyed "Over the Hedge" while John & I almost enjoyed peace and quiet (James wasn't too happy).

Once we got to the Trail, we loaded Faith & Cole into a wagon and James into his stroller. Faith & Cole looked so cute! They both had their snow caps & mittens on and John sacrificed a layer of his jacket to use as a blanket for them in the wagon. About 3-4 scenes into the Trail, Cole decided that the best way to experience the Trail is to walk it. So we proceeded at his pace for a long way until we just couldn't take it anymore. He was so cute, though. At every scene he stood right up on the curb pointing and shouting, "Mommy, wook...wook at that!!" He really enjoyed it. About halfway through, we decided he was moving way too slow, so I proceeded to carry him the rest of the way. Sadly, I think my arm and back muscles are sore today! It was such a joy to watch him experience such awe and wonder. It was a blast. James fell asleep pretty early on (thank goodness). Faith decided the jacket her Daddy let her borrow was pretty cozy, and she proceeded to curl up in a ball in the wagon and fall asleep! I couldn't believe it! With all the noise and lights all around, our little girl fell asleep. It would have been a great picture. After loading everyone back in the van, they were all asleep by the time we made it out of the parking lot. Even John fell asleep on the way home. It was a great night.

Ahhhh -- Merry Christmas at last!

2006-12-21T10:27:00.000-06:00

Finally I can breathe a sigh of relief! The crazy part of the holiday season is over, and now I can enjoy the rest. Sorry for the previous post, but I just had to vent:) This will have to be a quick post because I have a hungry baby on my lap...

Here is our family at our annual Christmas dinner a couple of weeks ago. Yes, John finally shaved his moustache off a couple days ago. Yeah!

I thought this picture was hilarious. We went to our neighborhood community center last weekend to visit Santa. Faith refused to get anywhere near him unless I was right beside her. You can tell by the look on her face and the crossed arms how she feels about the situation. Literally 2 seconds after this picture was taken, he offered her a candy cane and they suddenly became best of friends! She started rambling out her entire Christmas wish list. I could barely pull her away for the next family. I guess they need to start with the candy next time...

BAH HUMBUG!

2006-12-15T20:10:00.000-06:00

OK, I'm going to turn off the Christmas spirit for the 5 or so minutes it takes to write this post so that I can tell you how I really feel...

I really try not to complain. I know I have it really good in life - healthy family, 3 beautiful kids, a good husband, a nice house, a great job, etc, etc. But my stress level right now is through the roof. You may see the headlines tomorrow, "Crazy Mom Looses It and Starts Babbling Like Baby". Yes, I'm happy to have 3 kids, but good grief! The holidays are crazy enough without kids. I swear it's almost as if all the kids have a secret meeting first thing every morning before I wake up and plan out the day in order to create the most chaos and irritation. I'm up to my shoulders in crap (literally, Faith smeared some on the wall today at about the level of my shoulders). I've changed more diapers today than I'd like to count. I slept last night from 11pm-1:15am, then from 2am-3am, then from 4:30a-6a, then I think I got another 15 minute snooze in right before 7am when Cole burst into my room screaming. I tried so hard to take a nap today, but as always right when I get Faith & Cole down, James wakes up and DEMANDS to be held, played with, etc. Which is great, except when I'm so tired I fall asleep sitting up. Then Cole insists on everything to be his way today (which is no different than any other day). He insists, but it doesn't mean he gets what he wants. Which means if I say "NO", I get to hear him scream for an indefinite period of time. John's dad calls and says John is going out to their place tomorrow to work on some project. Hello? What about the fireplace project that looks like *^*&* in our living room that I've been wanting him to finish all week. What about the fact that I still have to go Christmas shopping before Monday (Christmas with my mom & sis). And why do I have to do all the Christmas shopping, all the Christmas letter writing, cards, etc? Oh, and he wants to take Santa presents out to his parents' place tomorrow since that's where we're spending Christmas morning. So now I have to wrap presents tonight, too. I'm really really tired. Bah humbug!

"ANTSONME!"

2006-12-08T17:52:00.000-06:00

This has been going on for awhile (ever since my kids came home to stay after spending 4 days/week at Nana & Icky's house while I was on bedrest)...

Cole is an emotional child. Faith has always been so even-tempered. She has been easy since the day she was born (ok, except for potty-training, which at 4 years of age she has regressed again to wetting her panties after James was born). Cole, however, is always on the extremes with his emotions. He is either extremely happy and cute as a button, or very emotional/sad/tantrum-prone. I think God has purposely made him extremely happy/cute at times or else we couldn't handle the other. Anyway, this fall whenever he wants to be picked up and held (which is often), he whines "antsonme". At first I thought he was saying "answer me". As my bilingual skills have grown with the mastery of "toddler" as a second language, it finally dawned on me what he was saying. He is actually saying "Ants on me." Nana & Icky live on 6 acres with an abundance of wildlife, probably the most abundant being fireants. Unfortunately, Cole would happen across these fierce creatures from time to time over the summer while he was staying there. Of course when he yelled "Ants on me!", Nana or Icky would immediately pick him up and deal with the situation. And hence the association between "antsonme" and being picked up. We've been trying to teach him to say "hold me" or "pick me up" for 2 months now to no avail...

Count your blessings...

2006-11-30T08:33:00.000-06:00

This holiday season we should all be counting our blessings...

Yesterday, we put up our very first artificial Christmas tree. In the past we had always bought a fresh cut tree. For the few years we lived in Lexington, we were very close to a Christmas tree farm. We enjoyed going out there, watching John cut down a tree in his manly-man way, drinking hot chocolate and visiting with the family that owned the place. I thought that would be a great Christmas tradition to enjoy with the kids every year. However, last year when we moved to Kyle, we found that there weren't any tree farms very nearby (Elgin or Seguin were the closest). Instead we went to a pre-cut tree setup in San Marcos. Then we had to clean needles off the floor constantly and remember to water the tree. Faith & Cole both had very runny noses the whole time the tree was in the house, so we suspected a possible tree allergy. So it was with mixed feelings that we treked up north to ATex Christmas store 2 days after Christmas last year and got an awesome deal on a fabulous pre-lit 9' tree. We put it up yesterday for the first time, and I have to admit, it's simply gorgeous. The height really fills our front living room appropriately. We ended the night with Faith helping John put the star on the tree. Today we will hang all the ornaments and decorate around the house. Faith is VERY excited about this whole process. Cole, on the other hand, just wants to climb up the ladder and jump off repeatedly. I think he could care less about the tree.

The main reason I'm posting today is to remind everyone to count their blessings this holiday season. After spending $$ yesterday at Target on some Christmas items, we were all driving home when John's work pager went off. They were looking for someone to work overtime today. After reviewing our finances for all of 1.5 seconds, John quickly picked up the cell phone and called in. So instead of spending the day at home with us, enjoying the awesome arctic front that just blew in a few hours ago, he is at work today. But some people this holiday season are losing their jobs (look at Ford Motor Co.) or are living at or below poverty. They don't get much of a holiday season. So instead of complaining about having to go to work today, my wish is that everyone who reads this instead realizes how lucky they are to have a job and be grateful.

"Happy Chicken Day!"

2006-11-24T17:10:00.000-06:00

The first words out of Faith's mouth when she woke up Thanksgiving morning was a very excited "Is it turkey day?" My husband explained that, no, we were having chicken. My mom-in-law had bought 4 roasting hens for me to prepare instead of the traditional turkey. So the rest of the day Faith exclaimed "Happy chicken day!" We thought it was pretty darn cute.

My mom-in-law was going to host Thanksgiving, but she hasn't been feeling well lately. So we invited the family to our house instead. It was a wash in terms of stress for me. If we had traveled, packing up the kids for the trip would have been about the equivalent amount of stress as staying home and hosting. Nowadays, if you take just a day trip with kids you have to pack half the house. With 3 kids, all with different sleeping arrangements and bathroom habits, it's especially bad. So I quietly said "thanks" on Thanksgiving for getting to stay home! Plus, John's siblings helped by bringing pies, rolls and casseroles. So I didn't have the entire meal to prepare alone. Early in the day we were able to get all the kids together for a picture. This was the best of about 20+ shots! Getting 6 kids 4 years old and younger to simultaneously sit still, look in the general direction of the camera and then smile is about as likely as choosing the winning lottery numbers! That being said, I think this pic turned out pretty good. From left to right are James, Cole, Faith, Chloe, Remington and Ryder.

For the past couple of years, whenever our family gets together for just about any reason, we find a way to fit in at least one game of Texas Hold 'Em. After a successful Thanksgiving lunch, we tried desperately to get all the kids down for a nap so we could enjoy the game. Ha! That was the most interrupted game any of us have probably ever played. We had a 50% success ratio (3 of the 6 kids actually fell asleep), so we were up and down like there were springs in our seats to tend to the ever-constant needs of our children. It was still fun, though. Deborah (John's sister seen in this picture) was the big winner. Ironically, she plays the least out of all of us, but she often wins whenever we get together. She's been known to go "all-in" just to quit the game, and then she ends up winning big. I wish I had her luck (sorry, Deborah, I meant "skill":)

All the kids loved the playscape in the backyard. In fact, John and his dad apparently liked it, too (look closely at the picture). I have to admit, the fort is pretty cool. I've climbed up there on occasion to visit my kids.

Here's Cole at the end of the day looking cute wearing his cousin Chloe's cowboy hat. All day we tried to coax Chloe into performing her highstepping routine (she finally consented to perform later in the day when she was good and ready). She's in dance class and is pretty talented for her age (3). Faith, of course, is dying to take dance too. We need to wait until I start bringing home a paycheck again before we can even consider that.

At midnight last night I was still up with a fussy James, who has no concept of time of day. But even in the depths of exhaustion I thought about how very much I have to be thankful for: a healthy family, the addition of 2 new babies to our family this year (James and Ryder), a wonderful husband (even though he insists on wearing his funky moustache right now despite my protests), the comforts of a home big enough to entertain the entire family at Thanksgiving, freedom in a nation that allows me to enjoy life while others sacrifice theirs fighting in Iraq, food always to fill our bellies and good jobs that allow us to live the life we want. I could go on and on. I wish everyone could be so blessed.

Happy Everything!

2006-11-06T09:59:00.000-06:00

It's officially the "Happy Everything" time of year...it starts with Happy Birthday James, then Happy Halloween, then Happy Birthday Cole, then Happy Thanksgiving, then Merry Christmas, then Happy New Year -- all in the span of 2.5 months. The first 3 "Happy's" fall within 2 weeks of each other, though, so I feel so busy!

Here's some of the Happy Halloween pictures. My mom bought the kids some adorable costumes. Cole was a hobo clown. She brought Faith a gorgeous Southern belle costume, but it was about 2in too long. So she picked this witch costume out at WalMart, then refused to wear the witch hat all night long. Oh, well, as long as she was happy.

One of our neighborhood friends had a party with a hayride before everyone went trick-or-treating. They set up this cute backdrop for pictures in their front yard. Someday when I'm a little more organized, I'd like to host a party. I'm waiting until I can get some better furniture in the house. Hopefully that won't take years.

Here's my little hobo clown. Isn't he adorable? He got a lot of compliments. I think we have found Cole's favorite day of the year. I've never seen him so animated. He wasn't afraid of anything! I'm sure half the neighborhood could hear his squeals of joy. Then the squealing kept on coming when we dumped the spoils of their labor on our kitchen table later that night. Needless to say, he slept good that night:)

Then came Happy Birthday Cole! The kids enjoyed helping me make the cake that morning. Between the cake and the Halloween candy, we have enough sweets to last until next Halloween. What a super-busy day! I scheduled his party on his actual birthday in the middle of the week. Unfortunately, John was at work all day, so I had all the cleaning and cooking to do while taking care of all the kids. The hardest thing is stopping what seemed like every few minutes to feed somebody. Nursing, of course, took up the bulk of my day. But come 7pm that night we had a good Mexican dinner, cake, presents and lots of balloon-popping. It all came together nicely. After it was over, though, I felt like I could have slept for days. James had other plans, though, as he continued to party until nearly 1am!

This gift was the big hit! Cole seems to be quite musically-inclined. He will often serenade us at random times (driving down the road, middle of supper, standing on the fort of his playscape) with a beautiful voice and pretty darn good projection. When Icky (his granddad) gets out his violin or mandolin to play, Cole always wants to take part in the entertainment. So Nana & Icky gave him his very own guitar for his birthday. He loves it! Of course, he has no clue how to play it, but that doesn't matter. He strums the strings and is thrilled with all the sounds that are produced (in tune or not). Hopefully someday soon I can enroll him in the neighborhood music classes. I think he would really enjoy that. It will be awhile before we move up to professional guitar lessons though...

Busy days (and nights)!

2006-10-30T15:50:00.000-06:00

It's been something like 2 weeks since my last post. I have seriously tried every day since then to post again. I take the computer over to the table, open it, and as soon as I start up the internet, something happens. Somebody needs to be fed, somebody has poopy pants, or somebody has marker (washable, thank goodness) all over their face, hands, legs, tabletop, wall, and oh yes, a little on the paper in front of them.

For the most part in these early newborn days, this is what James spends a lot of his time doing...

Here's another pose...

And another...he likes to stretch out after getting a full belly. Must feel good after 9 months of being wadded up in a ball...

Of course, we spend about 6-8 hours a day nursing. I'm getting ok sleep at night in spurts of 1.5 hours at a time. Things are going pretty good, though. It seems like it was harder with Cole. Maybe I feel more at peace, more settled in life this time. Or maybe it's because James is an easier baby (Cole was pretty colicky). Or maybe I'm trying to savor every moment knowing that this is the last time we will have a newborn to care for. I really DO NOT want James to grow up at all. I want to freeze him just the way he is (though "sleeping through the night" John adds). I am really enjoying mommyhood this time. I was so busy with vet school soon after Faith was born. Then life was hectic and unsettled when Cole was born. I feel like this time things are perfect. I'm really glad I've taken 3 months for maternity leave. I will return to the clinic Jan. 15.

The day I had been dreadfully terrified of for the past 9 months finally came and went...John returned to work when James was 1 week old. So I found myself in new territory alone at home as a mother of 3 kids 4 years old and younger. I was really scared of how to handle this new lifestyle, but I have to say that it's not so bad (so far). In fact, I've really enjoyed it. The days run pretty smooth, for the most part. We now run our lives on more of a schedule than ever before (I'm a new fan of meal planning a week in advance). A decent schedule=happy days=Mommy's sanity is intact. Thankfully, the kids are pretty understanding and well behaved when I have to nurse or spend time with James. This playset we bought from Craig's List 2 weeks before James was born has been a Godsend. John beefed it up, gave it a fresh coat of paint, and the kids have spent HOURS on it ever since.

My sister also thought to bring PlayDoh for the kids when she came for James' birth. This has also been a lifesaver. It's a bit messy (notice Cole likes to make 10 million little balls with his), but it keeps everybody happy and quiet while I nurse. While James sleeps, I try to include the kids in the happenings of the house. They both like to help out. Faith has been helping me cook, and surprisingly, Cole likes to help me clean. A couple of days ago, of his own volition, he picked up a washcloth and wiped down his table and the cabinet fronts in the kitchen.

So for now, all is well. I am happy. The kids are happy. There is peace in our world. I'll be busy the next couple of days mostly cooking. A couple of our neighbors had babies over the past 4 days, so I'm making meals for them (they did the same for us). We're having family over on Wednesday for Cole's birthday dinner. I'll try not to wait another 2 weeks to post again:)

James Alexander is here!

2006-10-15T17:54:00.000-05:00

These are the flowers from the clinic - thank you!

After spending the first few moments in the outside world on mommy's tummy, I wasn't too happy about getting cleaned off...

Party of five...

Aren't I gorgeous?

My first footprints. Baby toes are so cute!

Well, after almost 48 hours with no name, we finally decided on James Alexander (John came up with it in the middle of the night, a tribute to his father). No, this name was not on our final list, go figure. But the other choices just didn't fit.

Delivery day was strange and not what we expected to say the least. But all's well that ends well. We got to the hospital at 7am for induction. When I arrived, the nurses informed me that my doctor had decided to postpone pitocin until 10am since he had some morning appointments to tend to, and I tend to have speedy deliveries. So we spent the first 3 hours in the delivery room just visiting. I was hooked up to all the monitors and having pretty decent contractions every 4-5 minutes (I had been doing that for several days now).

Then they started my bag of IV fluids (no pitocin yet) around 10am. This diluted out my natural oxytocin and my contractions completely stopped. They started the pitocin at 10:42am at a very low dose and increased it every 15 minutes. Nothing. No contractions. The whole family was making jokes because we all expected this to be quick.

Finally my doctor arrived at 12:30 and broke my water (I was still 4cm dilated, 70% effaced - no real change since my arrival that morning). It took another 30+minutes before real contractions started kicking in. I remember it was 1pm when I told John to go ahead and cut the tv off in the room because things were finally starting up. Then once my contractions started, they took off in full force. They stopped increasing the pitocin because things took off so fast.

I had planned on trying natural childbirth because of my history of quick labors - I figured I could do anything for a short while - WRONG! Actually, John & I did really well as far as I'm concerned. He did a great job of coaching me. There's no way I would have made it as far as I did without him. The problem was the pitocin. I remember with Cole's delivery I got a break in between unbearable contractions. This time, my uterus stayed very tight and never really released between contractions. They were literally non-stop. I couldn't hardly talk or open my eyes between contractions.

So when I asked for the epidural, my doctor was actually trying to encourage me to continue with natural childbirth (this surprised me). He checked me and I was 6cm. He said based on my previous deliveries, I would be pushing within 20 minutes. I said, "I don't care. I can't do this another 20 minutes." So in comes the anesthesiologist. After hitting a nerve root on my left side twice (not fun for me or John who got kicked pretty hard), he finally got the epidural in. It seemed to take forever - I had at least 4 contractions while he was working. Anyway, by the time I lied back down in bed, I was giddy. I remember just giggling and asking to see the kids one more time before it was time to push. And guess what? Sure enough, 16 minutes after getting the epidural, James Alexander was born. But I have no regrets. That was the happiest 16 minutes of my life.

When it came time to push, I had John & my mom with me. My doctor told my mom it wouldn't take much for this little guy to come out, and he wasn't kidding. I pushed 3 times during 1 contraction and he was out! He came out very healthy with no signs of prematurity (he was born only 15 days early). He weighed in at 7lbs 14oz, 20.5in long.

Now we're all home and pretty tired. He's a very quiet baby (thank goodness) and sleeps a lot. He is absolutely precious and I am filled with joy.

Back home again:)

2006-10-09T16:52:00.000-05:00

Well, my bp is high when I'm sitting up, but it goes back down to normal (or high normal) when I lie down. So my doc is OK with me continuing on until Wed as long as I stay lying down. So we're on for induction this Wed a.m. The great news is he informed me today that he got me into the hospital I originally wanted to go (same one where I delivered Cole).

My mom is here now for the next several days to help with the kids and cooking (I've got her busy in the kitchen now). My sister will also be here tomorrow through Thursday morning. So unless something worth talking about happens in the next day, you probably won't hear from me again until after his majesty's arrival!

Less than 48 hours left...

2006-10-09T11:30:00.000-05:00

As I was lying in bed this morning I realized that in less than 48 hours I will never be pregnant again for the rest of my life. It's a bittersweet feeling. Even though I've had my share of complications, I'll still miss feeling him inside of me. For those of you who have been pregnant, you know that special feeling of carrying your future inside of you. Everytime he moves I can't help but feel joy. Even though I've been on bedrest and now I'm bloated from the bp issues, I still look at my belly and marvel at the miracle taking place. I remember after I delivered my other 2 children there was a sense of emptiness inside that I had to adjust to afterwards. After carrying them around for so long, even though you then hold them in your arms, you still feel a little "hollow" and miss the kicks, movements and hiccups that I could set a watch by (this boy gets hiccups like clockwork every night at 10pm).

Well, my doc called this morning and said he doesn't want to wait until Wed to see how my bp is doing. He has asked that we come in this afternoon for a bp and urine check. If I'm pre-eclampsic, I guarantee he'll induce me this afternoon. So we may have a little boy sometime in the next few hours. Now all of a sudden I don't feel mentally prepared. When I woke up this morning I wasn't thinking I would deliver today. I haven't had many contractions in the past 24 hours. In fact, I actually got a really good night's sleep last night. I guess that's a blessing considering we may deliver today now. We might have a Columbus Day baby after all...

False alarm!

2006-10-07T10:18:00.000-05:00

It's now 10:15am. John went to work, and I'm still at home, lying on the couch, blogging again. I had a feeling as I sat blogging this morning that it had to be a false alarm. Given my history of speedy labors and the fact that I had already been cramping for 3 hours, I was pretty sure it wasn't going anywhere. Sure enough, everything stopped around 6:45am and I went back to bed. It's odd, though. That was the exact same cramping-type of contraction I had when I went into labor with Cole. Maybe it could be soon, but I'm not going to place any bets. I'll just chill out here at home and enjoy my last moments of peace. Some of my swelling has gone down from my high blood pressure (although I'm still getting fairly high readings at home). So my hands are quite a bit more comfortable, thank goodness. Without that joint pain I'm hoping to be able to get another couple of nights of pseudo-decent sleep before sleep becomes a faded memory in life. I remember when I was a vet nurse and had gained acceptance into vet school, my boss told me that vet school would be the most sleep-deprived years of my life. Ha! If only men could breastfeed...

Could this be it?

2006-10-07T05:44:00.000-05:00

Well, it's 5:40am and I'm trying to figure out if labor is starting. The challenge with being in preterm labor for the past 16+ weeks is figuring out when real labor begins. Of course, when I really get into it I'll know. But right now I'm in that not-so-sure stage. With Cole my contractions changed from an overall tightness everywhere to a deep cramp. The cramps kept coming and eventually there was no question I was in labor. Well about 2 hours ago I started getting those deep cramps. But I've had a few of those in the night before (usually brought on by changing positions in bed). This morning is different, though, because I've continued to have these cramps for the last 1-1/2 hours. But they're somewhat irregular. Basically 8-10 min apart but varying in intensity. It just hasn't reached that definite point of no return. If there is no post later today, it's probably because we went to the hospital:)

PIH: My newest PITA

2006-10-05T17:39:00.000-05:00

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post, but isn't she cute?! We bought a new digital camera yesterday, and after figuring out the basics I snuck up on Ginger sleeping - so precious! Too bad she's a PITA (pain in the a**) most of the time she's awake. She's not that bad, she's just still got a lot of puppy in her (and a little too much basset hound, too). I'm a beagle junkie. Bassets are cute to look at in the clinic (hence the picture on my blog wallpaper), but I lived with a really stubborn, not too intelligent one for 14 years of my childhood. Loved her, but boy was she lacking in the brain cell department. Anyway, getting a decent camera was (I thought) the last hurdle before we were ready to finally have this baby. Read on...

I'm 37 weeks today! That makes this "FT-day" (full-term) - yeah! The plan for the last 16 weeks of bedrest was to get up today, jump for joy, run around the neighborhood and celebrate until I go into labor. I'm still 4cm dilated, so it shouldn't take too much to get me going. Well I should have known better. If there's nothing else that motherhood has taught me it's that we can't rely on a PLAN. Kids find a way to change the best laid plans, and all 3 of my kids started this while they were still in the womb.

I decided yesterday that I was close enough to 37 weeks to go ahead and get up. I'm tired of being bed-ridden and I've got a lot to do. I made a massive grocery list for John, my plan being to cook yesterday and all day today to make a lot of freezable meals for us to eat after his majesty's arrival. I made 2 meals yesterday, did some piddly cleaning around the house and went with John to Circuit City to buy the new camera. At some point while I was cooking I realized that my legs were really hurting. My feet felt like they were going to explode and there was a sharp pain traveling up my right thigh. My hands were starting to hurt and later when I was reading a book I noticed my vision in my right eye was a little blurry. Last night as I tried to get comfortable in bed for the 3oth time the joints in my hands hurt so bad it was hard to move. I really sympathize for arthritis sufferers. But heck, I'm 9 months pregnant and I've been lying down for the last 4 of them. So I chalked all this up to being extremely out of shape and typical swelling of pregnancy.

Unfortunately, I've met my newest PITA: PIH (pregnancy-induced hypertension). I gained 5 lbs this past week (normal is 1-2), so 3-4 lbs is water weight. My blood pressure has been creeping up the last 2 visits, but today it was 156/96. Both upper and lower values are officially high and now we are on the lookout for pre-eclampsia. I developed PIH with Faith, but was past 38 weeks so was sent immediately to the hospital for induction. With Cole, I had an occasional high reading, but I was already on bedrest for preterm labor (PTL) and so my bp stabilized. I had to monitor it at home for awhile, but it stayed within normal limits. My doctor said today that I may have had PIH sooner with this pregnancy had I not been on bedrest for PTL. So guess what my orders are? STRICT BEDREST. Good grief, you've got to be kidding...expletive, expletive.

Now comes the irony. A few people have asked me along the way what will happen once my bedrest was over at 37 weeks. "Will they induce you?" was actually a common question, to which I laughingly replied, "No, I'll just stand up, walk around for awhile and the baby will come out." This is all based, of course, on my last experience with PTL (Cole) and the fact that I'm already 4cm and the fact that everytime I stand up I have a lot of contractions. BUT, after nearly 17 weeks of bedrest trying to prevent labor, next Wed, Oct 11, I am scheduled for induction at 7:30am at South Austin Hospital. So one way or another, I will no longer be pregnant 6 days from now.

Could I go into labor before then? Sure, but the odds are low because I'll still be on strict bedrest. Without standing up and allowing the baby to put pressure down on my cervix, it's unlikely that things will get going on their own. Bummer. I feel like I'm being somewhat robbed of my final birth experience. I was really looking forward to the excitement of going into labor and rushing to the hospital. I know that may sound crazy or frivolous, but my experience of going into labor with Cole was one of the most exciting moments of my life. I know I'll get over this feeling soon. I'm tremendously grateful to have a healthy full-term baby. Once he's here, it won't matter how he got here. But just for today, I feel a little let down.

All About Birthdays...

2006-09-29T15:44:00.000-05:00

The theme for the day is birthdays. Today's mine:) My mom sent me these beautiful flowers today. It was such an unexpected surprise - totally made my day. I've also gotten phone calls, emails and cards from all kinds of friends and family. It's been really nice. Several people have asked if I'm doing anything special for my birthday, to which I reply, "Yes, I've taken off work. I think I'll sleep in, lay on the couch all day and be a vegetable - hee hee." I guess that makes everyday my birthday since June 16. My day started out awesome thanks to John. He woke me up with a quick, much needed massage. Then he had fresh donuts (which I've been craving this entire pregnancy) and decaf coffee ready for me downstairs. The weather felt so good with the recent cool front that I then took a book to read out on the front porch for awhile. I've been in a good mood all day, really all thanks to how John got it started for me:)

My doctor has been teasing that I could have a special delivery today, courtesy of Mother Nature. I have to admit, the thought of going into labor today is quite enticing. It would be cool to have a baby on my birthday. I am 36 weeks pregnant as of yesterday. Waiting until 37 weeks is ideal, but the preemie issues are pretty much behind us at this point. My doctor visit went well yesterday; still 4cm and the baby is up high. But the bad news is my doctor is leaving town!! He's leaving for New York next Friday (when I planned on getting up off bedrest) and won't be back until late Sunday night. He said if I really want him to deliver me, and at the hospital I want (Seton Southwest), then I better take it easy until he gets back. If we wait until he returns from New York, that's just 10 more days of rest. I can do that. After 105 days of bedrest, surely I can go another 10. And the next 10 don't have to be super-strict. I can get up a little more and start moving for short periods of time. I've also been given the green light to decrease my medicine frequency (no more getting up twice in the middle of the night to take it). I've already noticed an increase in the number of contractions today, presumably from the change in medicine. Today I was actually toying with the idea of getting up now and trying to have this baby this week. I'm just so ready to move on with life. But John informed me more than once last night that he needs all of the next 10 days to get mentally ready for this new addition. Are we ready for this roller coaster ride of newborn life again? No. But is anyone every really ready?

We had a great photo session with Paige on Tuesday. She did a really fantastic job. Anyboy who would like to view our photos can click here. It's going to be hard choosing which photos to print. I'm just really glad we were able to do this before I delivered. Definitely the best birthday present I could have gotten is to still be pregnant with a healthy baby. God is good.

I can see the finish line!

2006-09-23T12:13:00.000-05:00

Well the nursery is just about finished. Above is the baby's side of the room, which will eventually have his name in big wooden letters above the bed, as well as some other artwork to spice up the top half of the room. As far as his name, I think we may have narrowed it down to Luke or Cade/Kade. We'll probably wait until after he's born to get a look at him and decide for sure. On my last post, I had mentioned that Ryan James was a choice. Then last week John turned to me out of the blue and said, "Ryan Bryant." We both laughed and realized that one was out. We had never bothered to say it with our last name! Below is Cole's side of the room. I have the letters of his name to hang above his bed, but that'll have to wait until I get off of bedrest.

Decorating the nursery on bedrest was a cinch! All I had to do was draw out how I wanted the room to look, pick the paint colors, and tell John to get to work! I was sprawled out in the La-Z-Boy in the center of the room while John did all the manual labor. I got to "supervise". That was definitely one of the easiest rooms I've ever decorated! Of course, I would have rather done more myself. I love decorating.

My doctor visit on Thursday went really well. I'm still 4cm, no change from my last visit. He said the baby is way up high, so surely I would make it at least another week if I stay off my feet. He said if I make it to 37 weeks I can jump up and down for all he cares - I said, "Don't think I won't!" In fact, when I make it to 37 weeks, I plan to get up and not sit down until the baby comes out - hee hee. This Thursday (9/28) I'll be 36 weeks along, so all the major lung maturation should be finished! Basically, we've just about reached the point where all the preemie scares are behind us. We're so relieved. Naturally, I want a healthy baby boy that can breathe and nurse and go home with us right away. My birthday is Friday, and my doc keeps joking that I might get a special delivery that day! I told him instead to have flowers waiting for me when I show up for my next visit:) I would rather wait until 37 weeks to have this baby if I have a say in it.

It's hard to stay lying down now that we've made it so far. I feel like celebrating, which makes me want to go out on the town, a last date with my hubby before life gets crazy again. That'll have to wait until 37 weeks. I do have something really exciting coming up next week, though. On Tuesday, my friend Paige is coming over to our house to take pregnancy photos. I'm so excited! She's really talented, and I can't wait to see how she captures my last pregnancy on film. I'm especially looking forward to some great pictures with my family. I'll let everyone know how it turns out. In preparation for the big shoot, I'm trying to get my sister-in-law to take me to get my eyebrows waxed today (it's amazing how hairy you get when you're preggo - TMI!). Surely a short trip out of the house for 30 minutes won't put me into labor...

They're so cute!

2006-09-20T11:28:00.000-05:00

I figured it was time to post the obligatory cute kiddo picture! As many of you may know, since I've been on bedrest I can't care for Faith, 4, and Cole, 23 mos, while John is at work. Since he works 4 days/off 3 days, we send the kids to his parents house near Smithville 4 days/wk. Then they come home for 3 days and run around me, bounce on the couch and try so hard to play with me while I'm horizontal! I love it when they're home and miss them terribly when they're gone. Anyway, Faith has her own bedroom at the grandparents' house (affectionately known as Nana & Icky - John's dad wanted a unique name, and I think he accomplished that). Cole sleeps in a toddler bed in Nana & Icky's bedroom. One night last week, apparently he was missing his sis in the middle of the night. So he went down the hall and crawled into bed with her. Icky got this picture early in the morning before they woke up. How sweet is that?! Cole is such a lover.

Nana & Icky have created a grandkid wonderland out at their place. They live on 6 acres outside of Smithville. There's a huge tank, stocked of course, with a dock and a bridge. They have a paddle boat that the kids love to go out on to feed the fish. They've left the majority of the acreage natural (cleaned up a bit) for future camping and exploring. They have trails all through the place for walking or for a fun ride on their golf cart named "Katie Belle". They also have a swimming pool with a slide, which Cole has been bravely enjoying since he was about 17 months old. He is not afraid of anything. Faith is already an excellent swimmer considering her only "lessons" have been from us and the grandparents. Then there's the sandbox, hammock, swings from the giant oak trees...the list goes on and on. What kid wouldn't want to spend time out there? Both my kids love being outdoors, so the turmoil of this summer has been more manageable for them with all the fun activities. We're really blessed to have such loving, helpful grandparents nearby. This lifestyle is beginning to take its toll on the kids, though. You can tell they're getting more emotional and homesick as time goes on. We're trying to tell them it's only for a couple more weeks. Of course then their lives will be turned upside down with a new baby! But with all the love surrounding them, I think we'll all manage.

Only 7 days 'til Grey's Anatomy!!

2006-09-14T16:54:00.000-05:00

I feel that I have much to celebrate today. First and foremost, I have reached 34 weeks of pregnancy today! As my doctor says, "You're still pregnant, and that's our only goal now". He said we used to have goals related to dilation, number of contractions, etc. He said our goals have changed as this pregnancy has progressed, and now our goal is just to keep this baby inside for another 2 weeks. Yes, I have dilated a little more (he said I am officially 4cm now), but the baby is way up high and he seemed quite optimistic. So John & I left the office today feeling pretty darn happy.

I'm also celebrating because I have the most awesome husband. He called from work yesterday and said he was taking today off just to spend the day with me. He felt sorry for me lying here all alone all day everyday. Plus he thought it would be nice to take me to my appointment. Just having him here today has been wonderful. Granted, there's not a whole lot we can do together right now, but I sure have enjoyed his company. The one thing that we said we were going to do (pick out a baby name) still hasn't happened, and it's coming on 6pm. Something tells me it's not gonna happen today. We're so noncommittal. The only thing we're sure about is we would like his middle name to include a part of John's dad's name (James Robert). Right now, and this may change, our top choices are:

Ryan James
Benjamin Robert (call him Ben)
Kade Robert
Luke Robert
Mason James

Any input is welcome. It's important that his name sounds good with Faith and Cole. We've thrown out a lot of names because they didn't sound right with Cole. Weird how parents think. As if they will always be named together for the rest of their life! I originally also liked Zachary and Cameron, but John has adamantly vetoed both of them much to my dismay.

So the last thing I'm celebrating today is the final 7 day countdown to the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy!! All summer I've been watching crummy reruns while on bedrest. Now that life is about to get hectic, all the new shows are starting up! Oh, well. I'll just have to schedule breastfeeding accordingly!

My new pregnancy goal: make it to the 2nd episode of Grey's Anatomy!

Rollercoasters...

2006-09-08T22:05:00.000-05:00

I woke up at 4am today and randomly started thinking about Astroworld. My mind is always quite active in the middle of the night when I can't sleep, and it's usually pretty random.

Our annual family visits to Astroworld are some of my favorite childhood memories. I'm so sad that they closed it down and sold it off just because the real estate location is so valuable. Good grief! My favorite rides, of course, were always the rollercoasters - Greased Lightnin', Texas Cyclone, Excalibur, XLR8...I remember the famous signs at the entry to each LONG line stating that you had to be so many inches tall to ride and that pregnant women should not ride. Never did it cross my mind then that pregnancy would actually be the prerequisite for the scariest rollercoaster ride I would ever experience.

The rollercoaster of emotions I have felt over the past 48 hours have prevented me from blogging. I pretty much shut down yesterday and refused to talk to anyone but John. Wednesday I had just spoken to my sister on the phone telling her how optimistic I felt about this pregnancy. I hadn't had any more clusters of contractions. I carried Cole to 38 weeks. I told her I was certain this baby would be fine and I would deliver somewhere around 37-38 weeks. We even looked at a calendar to plan when she should come to help out. That was Wednesday.

Yesterday (Thursday) I had my weekly OB checkup (I'm 33 weeks). What he found was very troubling. I have continued to progress. For the longest time he wouldn't tell me how dilated I am. He just kept saying, "The important thing is that you are still pregnant...the baby is still inside of you...that's our goal...how dilated you are doesn't make a difference now." To which I said, "Then why the heck did you check me?" He said he needed to know. I said, "Look, just tell me. I'm ok with it. I need to know." He never did give me a straightforward answer. He said that my inner os (part of my cervix closest to the baby) is a bit past 3cm and my outer os is "a lot looser". But he said the good news is I'm only 50% effaced, so my cervix still has some substance/thickness to it. I asked him if I kept dilating at this rate, how far will we make it. He said maybe to 36 weeks if I'm really lucky. It was obvious he was not very optimistic.

As I walked out of the exam room I spoke to Candace, his nurse and my personal friend. She always cuts through the BS and gives it to me straight. She said that as he walked out of the room he said to her, "If she just walked in off the street and I didn't know her history, I'd send her to the hospital because she's about to deliver." Then she said he was afraid to tell me I'm closer to 4cm dilated.

4 cm???!!! That's usually the definition of when "active labor" starts. So I went home feeling very defeated yesterday. It's a very helpless, hopeless feeling to realize there is basically nothing else I can do but wait. Last week my goal was to make it to 36 weeks. Now my goal is to make it to next week. We'll just take it 1 week at a time. At this point, each week makes a huge difference in terms of lung development and suckle reflex. If I were to deliver this week, odds are high he would go to the NICU for anywhere from 7 to 21 days, be on assisted ventilation of some sort, and likely would need a feeding tube because they usually don't suckle this young. Each week that I can keep him inside of me, the odds of the above decrease dramatically.

So that's the first problem. Yes, there is another pressing issue: there's a darn good chance we won't make it to the hospital. With Cole I never dilated past 3cm before actually going into true active labor. From when I felt the first contraction to when he joined us in this world was 3 hours. Since I had already been having contractions for weeks, that 1st hour I wasn't sure if it was real. I took a shower, John gathered our things, I ate a banana and a piece of bread and we headed to the hospital. We were coming from Kyle (just happened to be visiting his brother, thank God, otherwise we would have been coming from Smithville an hour away), so it was the same trek we'll be making with this baby. I delivered within an hour of arriving at the hospital. Since I'm further dilated this time, and since this is my 3rd delivery (Faith took 5 hours, Cole took 3), I fully expect to deliver within 1-2 hours. In order to make it to the hospital, I will have to be acutely aware of when labor begins - not so easy since I've already been having contractions, some of which are quite uncomfortable.

Surprisingly, I don't mind having a baby in the car. This isn't my first rodeo, I know what to expect, I barely got the epidural with Cole and it hadn't really taken much effect, so I'm not afraid of the pain. But I am afraid of having a preemie in the car. I'm trying really hard not to think about it.

So, pray for us. That's all we can do at this point. I feel better today. I just needed some time to come to grips with reality. Now I'll try to think positive again.

Ok, Ok...I'm finally blogging!

2006-09-04T20:57:00.000-05:00

So on the not-so-subtle insistence of a few friends, I have finally joined the ever-popular world of blogging. I'll try not to make this too long of a post for fear of losing your interest the first time you log on. Plus, I'm not ready to post my entire life story on the internet!

I am now 32 weeks and 4 days into this pregnancy and 11-1/2 weeks on bedrest. For those of you who don't know, I was put on bedrest (read: home imprisonment, couch lockdown, solitary confinement) at 21 weeks due to preterm labor. I officially have an "irritable uterus" and a cervix that, according to my doctor, "just isn't any good after that first pregnancy". Gee, thanks. So most days, I try not to be as irritable as my uterus! I'm also on terbutaline, a lovely pill I take every 4-5 hours (yes, I have to set an alarm in the middle of the night) to slow down contractions. This medication makes your heart race and gives you the major shakes. So not only do I have to lie still all day long, I feel like I've had 3 Starbucks coffees most of the time. Not the best combination. Speaking of Starbucks, man that sounds good! I miss coffee & wine!

At my last checkup, my doctor found that I am now almost 3cm dilated and greater than 50% effaced. I stayed at a "fingertip" dilated for many weeks, then all of a sudden around 30 weeks things started giving way. I've had on average 1-2 contractions/hour since 24 weeks, but just recently I've had a few clusters of 6-8/hr for 2-4 hours. Most people would call these "Braxton-Hicks" contractions, except my cervix is responding to them unfortunately. I've been a little more progressed at each of my last 3 visits. I visit the doctor once weekly (usually on Thursdays) for the remainder of my pregnancy. So we'll see where I'm at in a couple more days. We've made it through many goals (24 weeks, then 28 weeks, then 32 weeks). Now our goal is 36 weeks. The greatest lung maturity happens between 32-36 weeks, so after 36 weeks the odds of him (yes, it's a boy) going to the NICU are slim to none.

I have to admit, I haven't been as strict with my bedrest this time as I was with Cole. His healthy full-term delivery has given me a somewhat false sense of security. I was put on bedrest & meds with him at 28 weeks (also preterm labor) and only had bathroom privileges. I ate all my meals lying on my side (not fun) and ended up with a skin rash on my hips (yuck, TMI sorry). With him, I dilated to 3cm and stayed there until I got up off bedrest at 38 weeks. He was born a little over 24 hours later. This time, I'm allowing myself to sit up to eat and I occasionally do a few light things around the house (like check the mail, get a snack, sit outside on the front porch occasionally in the evenings, sit up to read to the kids). Anyway, I think now that the baby has gotten bigger, even those few things I was allowing myself to do is enough to put downward pressure, give me contractions and make me dilate. I'm still refusing to eat lying down for now though. That will be the last thing to go and only if I continue to dilate. I'm really not trying to be selfish - I know this baby is the MOST important thing right now, but coping with 4 months of bedrest is a real struggle (physically and emotionally, but I'll probably get into that in another post).

I have plenty more to say (which surprises the heck out of me - I didn't think I could do this blogging thing), but I promised not to get too winded. I'll likely post regularly since I don't have anything else pressing to do, so keep an eye out. Oh, and if anyone knows how to personalize the background of this blog with my own wallpaper and maybe some cool sayings, let me know!